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You certainly won’t catch Bethenny Frankel crying on the couch post-divorce

Anyone who has ever experienced a breakup knows that heartbreak is not fun, and while most of us want to curl up on the couch and binge on romance movies and devour copious amounts of ice cream in an attempt to get over it, Bethenny Frankel has other plans.

More:Bethenny Frankel wins big in her divorce case against Jason Hoppy

OK, she’s probably had time to process her heartbreak because she and former husband, Jason Hoppy, separated in 2012, but now the pair is finally close to reaching an agreement, and Frankel has some big (and wild) plans for when her divorce is finalized.

“I think things are coming to a head. I feel like the end is near,” she told E! News. “I mean, again, this has been a very big surprise, and I never would have expected that this would have gone one tenth of how far it’s gone, but I feel good about it.”

Frankel also admits that the lengthy divorce proceedings have taken their toll on her emotionally, and when she’s finally able to close that chapter in her life, she’s not just going to celebrate with a nice quiet dinner — and she made sure the publication understood this.

More:Bethenny Frankel deserves applauses for the way she handled her long divorce

“Go out for dinner? You’re so cute…When I get divorced I’m gonna go out for dinner? Yeah — times 10,572! Will I go out for dinner? Are you kidding? I’m gonna be giving myself Skinnygirl enemas,” Frankel said in response to E! News‘ question about whether she’d celebrate by having dinner.

“I’m gonna be funneling Skinnygirl down my best friends’ throats and my assistants are gonna be naked. We’re gonna be hanging from chandeliers in Times Square: body paint, tassels on my titties, coming out of cakes, fireworks, strippers, young men, making out with strangers, one-night stands, five-night stands. Yeah, I think maybe I might have a celebration. Oh, yeah, and maybe dinner.”

We have to say, Frankel’s celebrations sound like loads of fun. But more than that, we’re so glad to see that her lengthy divorce proceedings have not put a damper on her killer personality and sense of humor.

More:Bethenny Frankel has plans to ‘piss people off,’ and we honestly can’t wait

Now, we wait for pictures of that epic post-divorce party.

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