The Vampire Diaries review: Get outta your mind

Happy-go-lucky Elena is a girl of the past. Tonight’s The Vampire Diaries pushes her over the edge. So much for Katherine’s death being the key to happily ever after.

The Vampire Diaries is not a fairy tale. It’s one of the reasons we love the show, but tonight it’s one of the reasons we think the show sometimes seems to enjoy yanking out our hearts and chomping down as much as a vampire would.

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It’s Elena and Damon-focused tonight

Katherine left a lot of baggage behind for our girl Elena to lug around, namely that nasty little vampire-craving injection Dr. Wes concocted. That means, instead of running into Damon’s arms and making up for lost nights, they’re locked in separate places awaiting a cure. Side note, while Damon is held up in a dank cell, bound by chains, with only a cell phone to keep him company, Elena has a whole house thanks to a binding spell. The gang couldn’t afford the same luxury to Damon?

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While this situation doesn’t allow the two any face-to-face time, it is a good chance for them to come up with creative ways of reconnecting with only a phone. Apparently, they don’t have Wi-Fi either because FaceTime seemed out of the question. The two do make a string of tech savvy jokes though. Something about Instagram and iPhone passwords. It’s insanely endearing.

And then suddenly it’s not endearing because Damon’s voice suddenly grows lower as he promises her the most mind-blowing night of her life once they no longer want to rip each other’s heads off. Could it get any more romantic? No. And we’re kinda not kidding, their impending deaths aside.

Oh yeah, and there’s another Stefan doppelganger

Just when we think we’re heading in the right direction of reconciliation, the virus kicks in and Elena goes crazy with hallucinations. She’s upset her friends didn’t recognize Katherine in her body sooner, and she also has frantic delusions about her actions as Katherine. She thinks she’s responsible for Aaron’s death.

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Damon hears the panic in her voice and escapes his cell to the rescue. (He keeps escaping that cell so it clearly isn’t serving its purpose.) His craving for vampire blood means nothing compared to his need to save Elena from herself. A littlelot dramatic, but we can dig it. Good thing Enzo shows up with the cure in time to save them both.

How’d he get the cure you ask? Oh, Stefan just sacrificed his mind to The Travelers so they could locate another Stefan doppelganger that just happened to pop up in Atlanta. Don’t worry, we’re internally freaking out as well.

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What does another doppelganger mean for the show? We’re not exactly sure because The Travelers are being super secretive about the whole thing. The two doppelgangers’ blood, when mixed together, is special, but only if Elena and Stefan are the only doppelgangers left. Since there’s a Stefan duplicate still out there, The Travelers need him dead. And Enzo is off to complete the task. Caroline also volunteers to tag along. Aside from our worry about taking an innocent doppelganger’s life, we’re also thinking, Wait, Caroline and Enzo? Is that, “new couple alert” we hear?

No answers on that potential couple this week, but we do get answers about Elena and Damon. She thinks he should have been the one to realize she wasn’t herself, and she’s hurt he didn’t. Still, she loves him. But it isn’t enough. They’re calling it quits. Relationship is over. And after that heart to heart, Damon makes good on his mind-blowing night promise.

OK, come on, with breakup sex like that, there’s no way these two can be over. Right?