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Marshawn Lynch vs. Rob Gronkowski: 12 one-liners from Conan (GIFs)

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This Sunday, the New England Patriots will go head-to-head with the Seattle Seahawks in an epic battle of strategy and brute male strength. To help the teams prepare, Conan O’Brien brought opposing players Rob Gronkowski and Marshawn Lynch together earlier this week to participate in a rousing game of Mortal Kombat X on O’Brien’s “Clueless Gamer Big Game Showdown.” The results were nothing less than amazing.

“Two nights ago, I flew to Phoenix to challenge the New England Patriots’ Rob Gronkowski and the Seattle Seahawks’ Marshawn Lynch to play the not yet released fighting game, Mortal Kombat X,” O’Brien said on his late-night show. “It was a very exciting night. Everyone wondering what would happen, who would win and really wondering: would Marshawn Lynch actually speak? Would he say a single word?”

Why yes, Conan, the notoriously silent Lynch did speak a single word. He spoke many, actually, and the one-liners produced by Lynch, Gronkowski and O’Brien himself are almost as hilarious as their physical reactions to the crazy violent video game they are playing. Watch the video and then check out our picks for most hilarious moments from the clip.

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1. “I’m a button masher, fo-sho though, it’s a technique.”

Lynch was just describing his technique, but of course, O’Brien’s dirty mind interpreted the strategy in a completely different way. “That’s lookin’ dirty. All right, stop it,” O’Brien said, which, of course, got a hilarious reaction.

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2. “That’s my life coach right there.”

Today, Gronkowski’s not taking orders from Bill Belichick. It’s all about the creepy little man on his Mortal Kombat character’s back.

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3. “You guys are about to murder each other and you’re having a nice ‘Where are you from?’ chat.”

We think it’s adorable to see two rivals engage in lighthearted pleasantries and bonding over Buffalo, but O’Brien is disturbed.

4. “I punched the shit out of him in the back with an upper cut.”

Sometimes, in Mortal Kombat, you gotta get dirty. Lynch admits he’s in it to win it.

5. “It get real! It get real in the field!”

Lynch relishes all action-filled moments, in football and in gaming.

6. “See, look, man — I’m gone.”

Lynch can handle bone-crushing tackles, but he draws the line at gore. He’s out.

7. “If that gave you a sexual thrill, you are a sick person.”

Once Lynch settled down and returned to the game, O’Brien revealed his surprising reaction to the violence and Lynch wasn’t having it. Gronkowski looks equally disturbed.

8. “That’s how Toad do.”

It’s no wonder Lynch is creeped out by Mortal Kombat. He’s more of a Mario Kart fan and driving is his fave.

9. “Should we be chicks?”

As the guys gear up for the next round of battle, Gronkowski ponders what their next characters should be. The level of concentration is inspiring.

10. “Point-blank in broad daylight! Rock ‘n’ bob, baby.”

As he starts to get into the game, we’re starting to think Lynch might be a Mortal Kombat believer after all.

11. “I felt that one.”

Gronk and the guys are horrified at some more graphic violence in the game. Even football players feel feelings.

12. “You ain’t gotta score to grab your nuts.”

And it’s a good thing, because judging by the solid 55 seconds these guys spent talking about and grabbing their own junk, they thoroughly enjoy the activity.

Images: Team Coco/YouTube

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