Another year, another Eurovision disaster. Sorry for being pessimistic but let’s face it — the U.K. is never going to win.There are various reasons for this and they’re not all political. Tactical voting may go a long way to explaining why the U.K. has languished at the bottom of the Eurovision leader board for almost two decades. But we also have to take responsibility for the quality of the songs we put forward and this year’s entry, unfortunately, doesn’t inspire much confidence.
“Still in Love with You,” by the duo Electro Velvet, actually sounds very familiar on a first listen. Remember 1994’s “Doop” and 1995’s “Cotton Eye Joe” — possibly two of the most annoying songs of all time? Mix them together, add some dubious lyrics (“don’t go out in the pouring rain, you might get wet, I’d be upset”) and you have the song we apparently think we can win Eurovision 2015 with. Hmmm.
If you haven’t heard “Still in Love with You” yet it’s time to take the plunge. Just rip off the plaster.
Video credit: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube
Anyway the decision has been made (by whom exactly we’re not sure) and we just have to get behind it. So in the spirit of all things Eurovision, let’s look back at all the good, bad and um, interesting, songs that have been performed on the Eurovision stage on behalf of the U.K.
1957
The U.K. first took part in the Eurovision Song Contest in 1957 with the song “All” by Patricia Bredin. It finished in seventh place, which may have been a disappointing result at the time but is completely amazing compared to the outcomes of recent years.
1967
After five second-place spots, the U.K. won Eurovision for the first time in 1967 with Sandie Shaw’s “Puppet On A String.” Let’s hope the nation celebrated accordingly; they wouldn’t have a clue what a rarity this would turn out to be.
Video credit: ForbiddeninGermany4/YouTube
1969
On a roll the U.K. won first place again in 1969 with Lulu’s “Boom Bang-A-Bang” — although we had to share it with France, Spain and The Netherlands (the first time the outcome was declared a tie).
Video credit: John1948EightD/YouTube
1976
It was another gold trophy in 1976 with Brotherhood of Man’s “Save Your Kisses For Me,” which went on to sell six million copies and become the biggest-selling Eurovision winner ever.
Video credit: 192TV/YouTube
1981
The 1981 competition produced one of the U.K.’s best-known Eurovision performances — and another first place. Bucks Fizz’s “Making Your Mind Up” went on to be a huge hit, with teenage girls all across Europe imitating the skirt-ripping dance routine in their living rooms.
Video credit: Mark Wood/YouTube
1991
EastEnders actress Samantha Janus would probably rather forget her Eurovision attempt in 1991. “A Message To Your Heart” finished a disappointing 10th.
Video credit: Euroencyclopedic/YouTube
1997
After Michael Ball and Sonia came second in 1992 and 1993 respectively, hopes were high of another Eurovision gold for the U.K. It finally happened in 1997 when Katrina and The Waves’ song “Love Shine A Light” won in Dublin. The U.K. hasn’t won since.
Video credit: Eurodictionary/YouTube
2003
Jemini made Eurovision history for the U.K. with “Cry Baby” in 2003. It was the first song that failed to score. The duo blamed audio problems for their stinker of a performance.
Video credit: tompillibi/YouTube
2008
After a lifetime of presenting Eurovision, Terry Wogan stepped down in 2008 after Andy Abraham’s song “Even If” came 25th. Wogan spoke publicly about the tactical voting that had become commonplace in the contest and handed his mic over to comedian Graham Norton.
Video credit: BBC/YouTube
2010
2010 was another humiliating year for the U.K. Josh Dubovie’s performance of “That Sounds Good To Me” came last with only 10 points. Clearly it didn’t sound good to anyone else.
Video credit: BBC/YouTube
2011
Boyband Blue reformed for Eurovision in 2011 and their European fanbase and vocal talent had everyone hoping for the first U.K. victory since 1997. Alas none of the judges were Blue fans and they finished in 11th place. The song was called “I Can.” They couldn’t.
Video credit: Official Blue/YouTube
2012
Apparently learning from the lesson that boybands don’t work, the U.K. wheeled out Engelbert Humperdinck for the 2012 contest. However “Love Will Set You Free” only scored 12 points, finishing in 25th place.
Video credit: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube
2014
Last year’s U.K. entry was Molly Smitten-Downes, who performed “Children of the Universe” at the Eurovision final in Copenhagen. Molly was one of the favourites to win but finished in 17th place with a total of 40 points. On the plus side, it was the 4th best placing for the U.K. since the introduction of the semi-finals in 2004.
Video credit: Molly Smitten-Downes/YouTube
The Eurovision Song Contest 2015 takes place in Vienna, Austria on May 23.
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