We can’t see your hands, but let’s just assume every Whovian is in agreement: River Song is the best! Of course, we’re stoked to learn of Alex Kingston’s return for the Doctor Who Christmas special. After all, there’s not a better character in the entire universe.
While Alex Kingston is the ultimate version of River Song, it hasn’t really mattered who has played the regenerating Pond daughter. She’s so wonderfully written and brilliantly feisty that Whovians have loved her in every possible version: Mel, Melody Pond and River Song. The Doctor’s wife is our fave for life and we know we’re completely justified.
1. We’ve known her forever
We’ve known River Song longer than we’ve known most recent companions and Doctors. We’ve built up a bond. How could we not?
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2. Let’s not forget how we met
We’ve been with River through so many major events in her life. Think about it: Just like The Doctor, we first met her on the day she died. We didn’t know who she was, but we were captivated. Soon, we knew her as just a tiny squirming thing in her mom’s tummy… then as a baby in her parents’ arms. Because of our familiarity with her story and thanks to having known her at so many stages in her life, River is like our mom, our kid and our BFF all wrapped into one person.
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3. Plus, she’s a Pond
It’s easy to get so wrapped up in River’s River-ness that we forget her story. The sassy ginger might be a child of the TARDIS, but she’s also the daughter of Amy and Rory Pond. How can you not adore the offspring of, quite possibly, the most perfect companions in history? She belongs to the Girl Who Waited (The Impossible Girl!) and the Rory the Roman. It doesn’t get more romantic.
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4. She’s Mel
For the hot second between when we met Amy’s best friend Mel, and when Mel regenerated into River Song, Mel was absolutely brilliant. She stole a car. And a bus. She wanted to kill Hitler. She flirted with The Doctor. She listened to Amelia Pond’s stories of the mad man in the blue box and believed them 100 percent. She was a brilliant friend.
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5. She’s so quotable
Of all the lines from Doctor Who, Whovians know River’s most famous lines the best. If there’s a chance to coyly warn of “spoilers,” we’re going to take it. And, be real: you know you’ve downloaded iTunes’ “Hello Sweetie” alert tone.
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6. And so clever
No one could get The Doctor’s attention quite like River Song. Throughout her time gallivanting around time and space, River carved “Hello Sweetie” (in Gallifreyan) into the home box of a category 4 starliner, the oldest cliff in the universe and even a space-time coordinate. She’d do anything to get The Doctor’s attention.
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7. She can drive the TARDIS
And she does it better than The Doctor.
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8. There’s a whole life we don’t know
We might have known of River for quite some time, but there are centuries of stories we don’t know. We know River and The Doctor go on many adventures together. However, we only ever see snippets of them. As silly as it is, Whovians love to think about the stories they haven’t seen, and we’re all hoping that someday, we’ll see more of River Song and her excellent space/time-hopping adventures. Even if she doesn’t always bring along her husband.
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9. She’s quite fashionable
Yeah, yeah. Bow ties are cool. Whatever. No one in the history of Doctor Who has been as stylish as River Song.
Image: Giphy.com
Image: Giphy.com
Image: Giphy.com
Alex Kingston returns to Doctor Who for the 2015 Christmas special. What adventures will we see this time?
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