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Recently, I was perusing Farrah Abraham’s Instagram for another piece and noticed, not for the first time, the vast quantities of vitriol still aimed at Abraham for having made porn. In 2013 (the same year in which she waxed Sophia’s unibrow), Abraham and adult film star James Deen made two movies together: Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom and a sequel, Farrah 2: Backdoor and More. She also developed and sold a line of sex toys, another project that drew some intense ire from the internet.
I have a proposal for everyone continuing to lambast and slut-shame Abraham for making money via the porn and sex industry: Let it go.
Porn doesn’t make anyone a bad parent or a bad person or a bad anything. It’s a way to make money, and while there are certainly serious problems with it, it’s not a measure of one’s morality. Equating the two, especially when the person involved in the porn (hopefully of her own volition) is a woman, is the product of deep misogyny and a means of punishing someone for enjoying sex and encouraging others to enjoy it as well.
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There are plenty of examples of Abraham doing questionable things. To put it mildly, she’s not super nice to the people around her. You could make a solid argument that putting makeup on a 6-year-old isn’t the best thing to do. But Sophia’s future isn’t hopelessly damaged by the fact that her mother made adult films/sold sex toys/posted some pictures of herself in lingerie. It could, however, be impacted by the disgusting comments that permeate the media about her mother and the messages she gets about how women who choose sex work and sex-related careers, and who enjoy sex, are treated. There are consequences for those women and the internet is only one place where they play out.
Abraham has described her experience in the adult film industry as being less than great and that it has made it hard for her to trust people. Coercion exists in sex work; it’s yet another example of how rape culture dominates all aspects of media and, by extension, life. But Abraham should not have to apologize for doing porn. If she’s in charge of her own body, her sexuality and her expression of it, that is in no way a bad example for her daughter. If she had had a great experience in the industry, she shouldn’t be made to regret it and she shouldn’t have to defend herself, and she should absolutely not have to choose between parenting and making adult films.
Those who invest any amount of time screaming at Abraham on social media might want to consider what they’re buying into and perpetuating, which is a totally uncomplicated way of looking at the world, which involves shaming women and, in this case, their children. It is in no way as simple as “porn = no morals,” “porn = horrible parenting.” Let’s practice getting over it, internet, and working a little harder at thinking as opposed to just jerking our knees.
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Do you think people judge Abraham unfairly based on her past in the porn industry? Should we move beyond it? Tell us in the comments!
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