Scott Disick needs to take care of himself before he worries about Kourtney K.

Watching Scott Disick on Keeping Up With the Kardashians has been difficult lately. I know that it sounds ridiculous to feel bad for a grown man who’s a multi-millionaire in the most famous family in the country, but I can’t help it. He lost his parents and his relationship with Kourtney Kardashian and her family all within a year. And now, Kardashian is making him prove his love over and over again.

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In the latest episode, Disick is left wondering whether he should fly all the way to Iceland in order to spend Kardashian’s birthday with her, because they haven’t missed a birthday together in the last ten years. He eventually decided to respect her space and celebrate her birthday when she returned home. It never crossed his mind that following his ex around the world, quite literally, isn’t good for his own self-esteem and self-image.

And I don’t mean to say Kardashian isn’t justified in her treatment of him. Disick did cheat in a very public way. But if she has no intention of forgiving him enough to be with him again, she needs to tell him that. He’s fighting to prove that he’s a good dad and a good guy because he wants to save their relationship. If that isn’t possible, he deserves to know that.

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Kardashian says that she wants him to do all of this stuff for himself, but anyone who can see knows he’s doing everything he can for her.

The fact of the matter is, Disick doesn’t know how to do healthy things for himself. He doesn’t know how to take care of himself. He gets caught doing almost every terrible thing he’s done. He’s a reckless guy, and he needs someone to teach him to take care of himself, not tell him to do it and then get mad when he fails.

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Kardashian should focus on encouraging Disick to do self-care more than anything. He needs to heal the wounds of his parents, he needs to create an identity that is respectable and that he is proud of outside of his Lord Disick persona, and he needs a clear answer from Kardashian about the possibility of their future. That’s the only way he will be able to be the man she wants him to be and sustain it more than a couple weeks.