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Andy Cohen’s tell-all book is like WikiLeaks for the Real Housewives

Everybody loves Bravo‘s Andy Cohen, but after his new tell-all hits bookshelves on Nov. 15, we’re not sure how many friends he’s going to have left. The Daily Mail got an early inside scoop on Superficial: More Adventures from the Andy Cohen Diaries, and, boy, does his latest book sound juicy.

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“Hopping from the Hamptons to the Manhattan dating world, the dog park to the red carpet, Cardinals superfan and mama’s boy Andy Cohen, with Wacha in tow, is the kind of star that fans are dying to be friends with. This book gives them that chance,” Cohen’s website description for the new tell-all reads, but it seems like the PG account of what is really going down in an R-rated memoir of Cohen’s life from September 2014 to May 2015.

According to the Daily Mail, Superficial details happenings such as Cohen’s threesome with a married couple (which he engaged in because he didn’t want to go to his grave without being with a woman) and Sarah Jessica Parker’s sweet 50th birthday bash.

More: Andy Cohen can’t possibly be surprised that RHOBH fans are turning on him too

More important, Superficial gives all kinds of dirty details about many of the cast members of The Real Housewives. I mean, of course it does. Cohen is the godfather of the franchise.

For instance, while Cohen reveals that he still holds a special warm, fuzzy place in his heart for Teresa Giudice, he also spills the beans about the Beverly Hills cast, who were all allegedly “really dosed up on pills” during one of their most notoriously wicked reunions. He also wrote about a particularly difficult conversation with RHONY‘s Carole Radziwill, in which he basically had to tell her she wasn’t invited to a party Anderson Cooper was throwing in his honor. Harsh.

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But perhaps the strangest story in Cohen’s book is an account of a super-awkward run-in with Lindsay Lohan.

According to Cohen, Lohan cornered him in a posh New York Bistro and briefly mentioned that she was in town to do community service before trying to convince him to pony up an $8,000 buy-in on an app to lease private planes. Lucky for Cohen, he ducked out of the restaurant while Lohan was outside smoking before she could make off with any of his hard-earned Bravo cash.

We really can’t wait to read this book. Pre-order your copy here.

Before you go, check out our slideshow below.

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