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Friends! The Musical! Is Actually a Terrible Idea

I’m really sorry, but am I the only person on the internet who thinks this Friends musical is a terrible idea?

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All my fellow ’90s kids have been absolutely giddy today since headlines hit saying the iconic sitcom is going to open as a stage musical in New York this fall, featuring Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe singing as they “navigate the pitfalls of work, life and love in 1990s Manhattan.”

Friends! The Musical! has some big guns backing it up — it’s written by parody legends Bob and Tobly McSmith, who brought us the hilariously over-the-top musical versions of Beverly Hills 90210, Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Saved by the Bell. It’ll clearly pay homage to some of the series’ most hilarious moments from its 10-season history, with songs like “45 Grove Street — How Can We Afford This Place?,” “Hey Ugly Naked Guy Who Lives Across the Street!,” “We Were On a Break!,” “Oh. My. God. It’s Janice!,” “The Ballad of Fat Monica” and “Could I BE Anymore…..in Love with Monica.”

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There’s just one reason why Friends doesn’t work like those other shows did. Its cast is as iconic a part of the show as the plotlines. You can put fat Monica on a stage and make her sing, but she won’t be Courteney Cox. Rachel and Ross can argue in falsetto about what it means to be on a break, but they won’t be Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer. Chandler can belt out his love for Monica, but he won’t be Matthew Perry. You get the idea.

Friends was a truly incredible, once-in-a-lifetime show. Wasn’t putting the whole series on Netflix so it can be binged and appreciated by old and new fans alike enough of a tribute?

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