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The Biggest Revelations So Far From Caitlyn Jenner’s Book Secrets of My Life

Caitlyn Jenner is set to spill a lifetime of secrets in her upcoming memoir, and what’s already leaked is incredibly juicy. Secrets of My Life will be released later this month, and she is not kidding when she said she is telling some major secrets, guys. Here are a few from her book that have already come to light.

1. She underwent complete gender-reassignment surgery

Two years after she publicly announced she is transgender and would transition from male to female, Jenner confirmed she underwent her final gender reassignment surgery in January 2017.

“So why even consider it? Because it’s just a penis. It has no special gifts or use for me other than what I have said before, the ability to take a whiz in the woods,” she wrote, after explaining the complexities of the surgery. “I just want to have all the right parts. I am also tired of tucking the damn thing in all the time.

“The surgery was a success, and I feel not only wonderful but liberated,” she wrote. “I am telling you because I believe in candor. So all of you can stop staring. You want to know, so now you know. Which is why this is the first time, and the last time, I will ever speak of it.”

2. Robert Kardashian thought O.J. Simpson was guilty as hell

Although Kris Jenner‘s first husband was part of O.J. Simpson’s “dream team” of defense attorneys and one of his closest friends, Jenner reveals that Kardashian all but told her outright he thought Simpson was guilty of murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman in cold blood.

I would’ve been okay with it if they had gotten him in the first trial,” Jenner said Kardashian told her, referring to his criminal trial. (Simpson was later found responsible for the deaths in a civil trial.)

“The implication was obvious that he believed O.J. was guilty,” she wrote.

Jenner wrote she believes a major reason Kardashian took on the case was simple revenge: to get back at Kris Jenner for remarrying so quickly after their divorce.

3. The rest of the Kardashian family was split on the murder case

Kourtney and Kim Kardashian were just kids at the time of the trial, but they fervently believed their “uncle” O.J. was innocent.

“See, I told you he didn’t do it!” Jenner said Kourtney Kardashian told her after school the day the Simpson verdict came back not guilty.

But both Kris Jenner, who was best friends with Brown, and Caitlyn Jenner believed Simpson was guilty. “I believe he got away with two savage murders,” she wrote. And after the trial, O.J. Simpson’s name was strictly forbidden from being spoken in the family home.

4. Keeping Up with the Kardashians ruined her marriage

Jenner claimed that the success of KUWTK and Kris Jenner’s need to control the family’s empire ruined their relationship — and in fact, she was deeply uncomfortable being thrust into the reality TV spotlight. She described receiving a letter from Aunt Ellie saying she looked deeply uncomfortable in every scene, much to the disappointment of the public.

“The implication is that I have sold myself out, willingly destroyed what positive reputation I have left,” Jenner explained. “Pretty much on the mark.”

5. Her sexual preference is now “either” or “none”

While her reality show raised the question of whether or not Jenner would pursue a relationship with another woman, she said in her book that she is open to the possibility of dating a man — except she has no sex drive whatsoever. “I don’t have the appetite for [sex], which is why the public’s obsession over whether I would [get gender confirmation surgery] is annoying to me,” she wrote in an excerpt obtained by People. “It hearkens back to this misperception that people transition because of their sexual desires.”

6. Khloé Kardashian basically hates her now

As we saw during the episodes of KUWTK dealing with Jenner’s initial transition and its effect on the family, Khloé Kardashian didn’t deal well with what she felt was a major deception from her stepdad — and the iciness hasn’t exactly thawed.

Khloé has the hardest time with it,” Jenner wrote. “It is something Khloé and I should talk about privately, as we have on many occasions on other sensitive subjects. But we have not, although I have tried. We have not been the same since.”

Khloé and the rest of the Kardashians have a reason to feel slighted, Jenner admits. They were barely featured in her coming-out interview with Diane Sawyer because her PR peeps felt they might detract from her message. “They were slighted on purpose because of research showing that anytime a Kardashian is on television, many in the public tend to think it is a publicity stunt to make money,” she wrote.

7. The other kids had some feelings about how she came out too

While Kim Kardashian seemed to be the most accepting of Jenner’s transition, one thing did bug her: the fact that it’s Caitlyn with a C, not Kaitlyn with a K. And her sons from her previous marriages were not big fans of her Vanity Fair cover. Jenner admitted she “did not gauge how a son would feel seeing his father in a cream-colored bustier.”

8. She didn’t feel deserving of the Arthur Ashe Award

Rather than feeling courageous that she came out as transgender, Jenner feels the opposite — and completely undeserving of the Arthur Ashe Courage Award she received in 2015. “For me it was a form of cowardice to wait so long,” she wrote, “…but nobody would turn down such an honor.”

Read more when Secrets of My Life is released on April 25, 2017.

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