Like driving past a bad accident, you want to avert your eyes, but you can’t look away. These guilty TV pleasures drain away your brain cells, yet you find yourself firing up the DVR to get your fix when no one’s watching. Don’t worry, we won’t tell.
Rock of Love with Bret Michaels
Back in the 90s when you were rockin’ the dating scene, part of you secretly envied the groupie culture following around hot singers like Bret. It may be TV “poison,” but you can’t help but tune in to laugh at the pathetic gals who can’t seem to claw their way out of the hair-band era. (VH1)
Don’t Forget the Lyrics
Channel-surfing one night and rolling your eyes at yet another bad karaoke-inspired show, you couldn’t help yourself — you started screaming out the lyrics to the Pina Colada song in your living room! And you’ve been hooked on belting out song hooks ever since. (Fox)
Survivorman
Not sure if it’s because Les Stroud’s rugged instincts are sexy, or if a sick part of you is waiting to see him become desperate enough to drink his own pee (and he has!), but the MacGyver-like tactics this survivalist employs keep you tuned in alongside your nature-loving hubby. Your girlfriends would be shocked! (Discovery Channel)
Keeping Up With Kardashians
You can’t help it — socialites who gain fame via online sex tapes a la Paris amuse you, and so you find yourself watching Kim and her dysfunctional clan (which includes her former Olympian step-dad, Bruce Jenner) as they navigate sex scandals, D-list fame, and strange family dynamics. (E!)
Kitchen Nightmares
You rule your kitchen with an iron oven mitt, which is why you relish the way Chef Gordon Ramsay pulls no punches as he serves up business smarts and snarky one-liners while making over failing restaurants. He’s mean and foul-mouthed, but you’re glued to the screen to see what the bleep he’ll say next. (Fox)
Hannah Montana
If you’ve got a school-aged girl in your home, Hannah Montana’s part of the family, too. Of course, that’s no excuse for humming along to Miley’s hits, and watching her school and stage escapades while the kids are at school. C’mon, you know you do. (Disney Channel)
Gossip Girl
Prep school elitism, blog rumors, gossip, backstabbing, scandal… what’s not to love? It’s like spying on the next generation of technologically savvy “Desperate Housewives” during their teen years. (CW)
The O.C.
You’re double guilty, not only were you a devoted fan during its original run, buy now you relive the California soap in syndication. After all, it’s been the only show of the past decade to really fill the void that “Melrose Place” left in your trash TV schedule all those years ago. (SoapNet)
Bridezilla
Watching the awful behavior of stressed out brides brings you evil delight. Whether it’s for shock value, to make fun of the hideous bridesmaids gowns, or because you catch a glimpse of your former wedding-planning self at times, you can’t seem to divorce your viewing habit. (WE)
South Park
No matter how much you’d deny it to the other playgroup moms, potty humor cracks you up. And although its prime has passed, you can always count on Cartman and the gang to offer a poo- and profanity-filled half hour of viewing pleasure. If you get caught watching, you can always say it appeals to your satirical appreciation. (Comedy Central)
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