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Dancing with the Stars: week five recap

To say Dancing with the Stars is hot is an understatement. Still trying to find my voice here after Gilles and Cheryl performed a Paso Doble on the Dancing with the Stars stage that was nearly as hot as that dominatrix dance Maks and Mel B did a few seasons back.

Gilles started his Dancing with the Stars night with his shirt off and when he hit that first pose, I nearly had heart failure! Yowza, this man can move. But do you think this grabbed him a perfect 30? No. Len said it was too hectic in spots and knocked his vote to a nine. They’re still on top but Tom reminded the audience of how Sabrina was eliminated just a week after getting her perfect score…so, you better vote.

The evening started on a sweet note with Chuck and Julianne doing a Viennese Waltz to the Rascal Flatts’ song, Feels Like Today. Love the song, liked the dance but I think we’ve seen the max of Chuck’s talent.

Lawrence and Edyta may have had their best dance so far, but that’s not saying much. It was a Paso Doble, so Lawrence was able to score points by putting on his fierce football face, still I find these two almost painful to watch.Shawn and Mark danced an elegant Viennese Waltz to Vanessa Carlton’s Ordinary Day. It was light and simple and it landed them in the middle of the pack. I think we’ve seen Shawn’s limit as well and I don’t expect to see her in final three.

Melissa misses

Melissa and Tony tried for a serious and sizzling Paso Doble but it lacked their usual fire and style. I saw Melissa break character and smile wide at one point in the dance, turns out she caught her heel in her dress which made her stumble. After I saw that blunder pointed out on the evening news (yes, it was news), I realized that she did better than we all thought. Continuing to dance with your heel stuck in the hem of the gown? That’s talent! Despite the drop in their scores this week, I expect Tony and Melissa to be around until the finale.David and Kym did a Viennese Waltz to I Put a Spell on You. A cute concept that simply didn’t work on the floor. Bruno said David looked like a dog lifting his leg to piss on a lamp post and I must agree. David fought back saying that he’s one of the older contestants and thus not as flexible as Carrie Ann would like, but hey, that excuse doesn’t work on this show. You shouldn’t have signed up if you didn’t think you could keep up with the pack.Steve-O and Lacy did a Waltz with a French mime theme and it was totally sweet. Steve-O’s dancing still leaves a lot to be desired but the story was charming and captivating and it allowed him to be silly without being a joke. Good job, Lacey on the choreography but Steve-O needs to go home.

Ty’s stiff – again

Ty thought he had the edge when Chelsie told him the Paso was about a bullfight but he was wrong. Clumsy and robotic, Ty couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable in this highly masculine dance. Ironic since he prides himself on being a man’s man. Sorry, buddy, but in this competition, you’re better off being a ladies man like Gilles. Ty may survive to dance again only because Steve-O has had a worse track record over the past five weeks. Did I mention he got a 21? Oh please. What were the judges thinking.

Lil’ Kim and Derek pulled off a lovely Viennese Waltz that had me smiling the whole way through. Kim’s not exactly built like a ballroom dancer and I think that adds to the challenges she faces each week particularly when she has to dance in holds. Not sure why the judges held back on the scores after delivering great praise. And can we talk about the Buddha Board? This is a perfect example of why the dancers should not be allowed to talk during judging. Kim made a throw away statement that by the time it got back to Samantha Harris turned into a discussion of voodoo dolls. As if it isn’t bad enough that they keep mentioning her time in prison. Derek, please keep your partner from talking, it’ll be better for everyone in the end.The other awkward moment of the night came when host Tom chatted with Bob Saget in the audience. This horrendously set up moment was meant to promote Saget’s new sitcom (which in turn promoted Dancing with the Stars) but Saget looked like he couldn’t wait for Tom to leave him alone. Very odd.Even more awkward, Samantha asking Chuck if he’s going to propose to Julianne, can we vote her off the island? Please?

BEST SONG: Chuck and Julianne with Rascal Flatts’ Feels Like Today.

WORST SONG: Ty and Chelsie’s Barracuda.BEST DRESS: Lil Kim looked like a princess in her pink floaty gown.Tune in tonight to see who goes home but first there will be plenty of music and dance! It’s Dancing with the Stars tonight at 9:00 on ABC.

Photos: ABC/Kelsey McNeal

Recent Dancing with the Stars news

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