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Tiger Woods dumped by Gatorade

Gatorade has dumped Tiger Woods. Dropping a virtual Gatorade splash of lack of confidence, the sports drink titan has said goodbye to Tiger Woods.

The sports drink company was not taken in by Tiger’s little mea culpa the other day and discontinued their endorsement deal with the suddenly
scandalous golfer. “We no longer see a role for Tiger in our marketing efforts and have ended our relationship,” Gatorade spokesperson Jennifer Schmit said in a statement. “We wish him all the
best.”

Gatorade will continue its partnership with the Tiger Woods Foundation, a charitable organization designed to provide at-risk kids with educational opportunities.

Woods has already been dropped by Accenture and AT&T, costing him millions. Nike
still stands by Cheatah.

Gatorade’s decision casts doubt on speculation that Woods will return to the PGA Tour sooner rather than later. If Gatorade was going to dump him via a morals clause in his contract, they would
have done so two or three months ago. If Tiger has no plans to return to golf this year, Gatorade has a compelling reason to not continue
paying him.

In fact, reports are that immediately after his televised statement Woods checked into The Meadows rehab facility in Wickenburg, Arizona — same place Kate Moss attended a couple of years back —
and that Tiger’s sexual dalliances were merely the symptom of a much greater disease: drug abuse.

Sources say Woods is addicted to two different prescription meds. It’s a good bet one is Ambien, a sleep aid with bizarre side effects that head mistress Rachel Uchitel allegedly claimed was the couple’s favorite love drug.

“In therapy, Tiger blamed a lot of his cheating behavior on his drug addiction, saying that the drugs were responsible for impairing his judgment,” said a source.

After a very public jog around the neighborhood the day before his statement, Tiger has totally disappeared from public view.

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