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Glee recap: Never Been Kissed

Glee returned this week with Coach Beiste front and center as teenage birth control and Kurt Hummel exploring private school.

After missing from our televisions for two weeks, Glee returned with Never Been Kissed. In the all new episode, Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer) took it upon himself to visit a private school and check out a rival glee club only to find himself smitten with one of its members. Back at McKinley High, the students of New Directions used Coach Beiste (Dot Marie Jones) as an unconventional form of controlling their urges. Don’t worry, there was plenty of music with boys versus girls mashups and the return of Puck (Mark Salling).

 

Cool off with Coach Beiste

 

In order to keep them from taking things further with Quinn (Dianna Agron) and Rachel (Lea Michele), Sam (Chord Overstreet) and Finn (Cory Monteith) begin to picture Coach Beiste in compromising positions. The visuals tend to be a turnoff for the boys during hot and heavy moments.

After learning about their unorthodox methods, the rest of the glee club starts to use mental images of Coach Beiste as their own personal form of a cold shower and Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison) finds out.

Mr. Schuester challenges the sexually stifled kids to a new round of boys versus girls mashups with one condition — the girls must do boy songs and the boys must do girl songs. Let the games begin!

Meanwhile, Kurt decides to visit a private school and their glee club. While there, he meets a new boy introduced as Blaine (Darren Criss). The two share a moment with Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream.

Puck, fresh from juvie, decides to take on Artie as his community service. The delinquent basically showed Artie how to pick up girls and make cash illegally, among other scandalous things.

Glee: Secrets revealed and firsts are shared

After getting wind that something is up with the students of McKinley High, Coach Beiste goes to Mr. Schuester to figure out what’s up. After feeling guilty for pretending he doesn’t know, Mr. Schuester lets her in on his students’ dirty little secret.

After spending time with Blaine, Kurt realizes his school is not as welcoming as he’d like for a teen like him who is openly gay. When one of his football tormentors shoves him, Kurt loses it and accuses him of being scared with the most profound words: “You can’t punch the gay out of me anymore than I can punch the ignorance out of you.” The jock lays one on the glee clubber. Not a punch, but a kiss!

The girls channeled an 80’s leather moment, performing a rocking mashup to Livin’ On a Prayer and Start Me Up. The number breaks up the story, but it was just getting juicy!

Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) makes her appearance to tell Mr. Schuester that Coach Beiste has quit. He knows it’s because of his kids. Why does he know this? Because Sue Sylvester told him — then fired a confetti cannon.

 

All’s Well That Ends Well

 

Kurt and Blaine confront the man who planted a kiss on Kurt and the dude acts like nothing happened. The two try to get him to open up and realize it’s okay to come out but he walks away. Turns out, the guy was Kurt’s first real kiss. Blaine offers to buy him lunch.

Puck is busted for not performing proper community service and is threatened with a trip back to juvie if he doesn’t find a suitable form of service. He flips out and accuses them of not caring about him before storming out of the principal’s office.

Mr. Schuester confronts Coach Beiste about quitting. After a long heart to heart, the normally hard woman admits she just wants to be loved and has never been kissed. Mr. Schuester gently gives her the first kiss she’s been dreaming of. Keep in mind this was friendly, not romantic.

The boys take the stage for their Motown and R&B mashup. The boys perform Stop in the Name of Love and Free Your Mind to apologize to Coach Beiste and they individually sing to each one of their girls to make up for using the coach as a weapon. They all hug it out Glee style.

What did you think of Never Been Kissed? Are you excited about Kurt’s new Glee friend, Blaine?

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