Okay, so we can’t say for sure that tourism in New Jersey is down, but after seeing the preview for the RHNJ reunion and in the wake of MTV canceling one of its most notorious shows, Jersey Shore, it does make you wonder. For those who haven’t watched or are behind on RHNJ episodes, here are the character profiles, what you’ve been “missing,” and why you should tune in to Sunday’s reunion on Bravo…
How would you like to be a real housewife (and by real housewife, we mean a woman who stays home with her kids during the day) in New Jersey and have the rest of the world form an opinion of your daily life based on the Real Housewives of New Jersey? Or worse, Jersey Shore. These shows and the people in them aren’t doing much to project a positive image for the other millions of folks who reside on the shore. I’m guessing every time a real housewife tunes in to this show, she cringes when she sees…
Teresa Guidice
When RHNJ launched, Teresa came across as a more-or-less unassuming (as unassuming as someone living in a million dollar mansion covered head-to-toe in leopard print can be) Jersey girl. She was kind of mouthy, but tempered it with a decent sense of humor. Then Teresa became what some might describe as an attention (rhymes with bore). All of a sudden she went from looking somewhat normal to looking like a drag queen who’s in a perpetual state of readiness for Wigstock. She and her foursome of daughters were dressed like every day was Christmas Eve, and usually in matching outfits. Eck.
From there we saw Teresa’s disposition turn nasty. She started throwing tables, alienating friends and family, acting like a childish thug and picking fights with just about everyone in her path. Worse than that, Teresa doesn’t think she’s nasty. We’re guessing if you asked her, she’d tell you she’s one of the nicest girls in Jersey who just writes wholesome cookbooks. Which brings me to my next point: for all the culinary publications Teresa has cranked out, you don’t see her in the kitchen that much on the show. She throws a lot of food, but you don’t see her preparing much of it.
Joe Guidice and the girls
Teresa’s husband is a portly, angry little man who may or may not be a cheater, who may or may not be going to jail. Tensions mounted when Joe called Teresa the ‘b’ and ‘c’ words behind her back, but naturally, on camera. Teresa’s oldest daughter Gia is a hostile little thing who throws a temper tantrum with little provocation and like Mommy, can be kind of nasty to her sisters. The tabloids did a collective cheer when Bravo aired this show, because they knew their next royal family had been born, and that they’d easily have a year’s worth of material to write about.
Jacqueline Laurita
If there is a sweetheart of this rodeo, it’s Jacqueline. We’ve watched her develop a bit more of an edge as the show has progressed, but when you’re in a pool of sharks you either learn how to bite, or be bitten. Still, Jacqueline’s naïve personality and unconditional friendship endear her to us, even if she does remind of us of that girl who was always playing go-between in high school and crying in the halls. Jacqueline also has a spoiled 21-year-old daughter, Ashley, who divides her time between pissing her mother off or breaking her heart, which many moms in the audience can relate to. The preview shows Jacqueline crying and screaming, which comes as no surprise, but we’ll watch anyway.
Caroline Manzo
You either love or hate this red-headed no-nonsense matriarch. She can get a bit heavy-handed with her opinions which often leave little room for differing viewpoints, but she’s an excellent mom, she’s been married forever, she’s honest to a fault, she doesn’t take anyone’s bullsh** and most refreshing of all, she stays out of the drama. You have to love the older, wiser woman who is sitting in the corner rolling her eyes at everyone else.
Melissa Gorga
Only Teresa could make a woman who might otherwise annoy us a sympathetic character. She’s sassy, fiery and funny, and she can be snarky on occasion, but she’ll take the high road when she goes toe-to-toe with Teresa — making the older woman look even more ridiculous. To her credit, Melissa also encourages her beloved husband Joe, Teresa’s brother, to continue to reach out to his sister, even though Teresa treats their family like dog poo.
Join us Sunday for the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion on Bravo. Get your spray tan on, drape yourself in leopard print, have something handy you can throw at the TV and enjoy the free-for-all, Jersey style.
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