Celebrity co-parents always seem to say the same things about each other: Their former partner is their “best friend,” they both only have their child’s happiness in mind, and they’re doing everything in their power to keep both parents involved. And while we’re very happy for the celebs who have found a good co-parenting system, hearing quote after quote about their picture-perfect separations can be tough if that’s not your co-parenting reality. Divorce is awful. Co-parenting is hard as hell. There’s no way that every set of exes in Hollywood has remained friendly (is there?!) — and so honestly, it’s refreshing to hear from celebrities who have been honest and open about the struggles of co-parenting.
Of course, we’re not saying we want to see these former celeb couples struggle. But Hollywood stars have such a big platform to make their voices heard, and it can get frustrating when it feels like they’re being less-than-honest about co-parenting challenges they’ve faced. Exactly no one who’s doing it thinks that co-parenting is the easiest thing in the world — but when everything you hear makes it seem like it is, it can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you if you don’t feel that way.
Well, we’re here to call bullshit on all that, with the help of celebrity exes like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick, and more. All these stars have been candid about hurdles they faced in learning to co-parent after a split, and it’s refreshing to see that we’re not alone in having to work at it.
From navigating an ex’s new relationship to overcoming animosity from the split itself, take a look at what these celebs had to say about co-parenting: the good, the bad and the ugly.
Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
The late, great Brangelina have had their ups and not so ups — half the time we’re hearing about ugly custody battles and estranged kids, and the other half Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are releasing carefully prepared statements about how they’re working together for the sake of their kids.
Since their 2016 split, Jolie and Pitt have struggled to find a new normal for themselves and their six children, partly because of the extreme circumstances (Pitt’s drinking and allegations of child abuse) that led to their divorce. “I was really on my back and chained to a system when Child Services was called,” Pitt told GQ in 2017. “I heard one lawyer say, ‘No one wins in court—it’s just a matter of who gets hurt worse.’ And it seems to be true, you spend a year just focused on building a case to prove your point and why you’re right and why they’re wrong, and it’s just an investment in vitriolic hatred.”
For Jolie’s part, she’s been careful not to speak negatively of Pitt to the press — but it’s clear that she’s worried about the toll this has taken on her kids. “They’ve been very brave. They were very brave,” she told Vanity Fair in 2017. “We’re all just healing from the events that led to the filing…we care for each other and care about our family, and we are both working towards the same goal.”
Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick
Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick have been navigating their co-parenting relationship on Keeping Up with the Kardashians — which means we don’t miss a single dramatic tidbit. The pair, who split up multiple times between 2006 and 2017, share kids Mason, Penelope and Reign, and have recently been trying to incorporate Disick’s new girlfriend Sofia Richie into their co-parenting dynamic.
In April 2019, Kardashian and Disick recorded a video for her lifestyle brand POOSH in which they talked about co-parenting challenges they’d faced. “I think the hardest part [of co-parenting] was when we both started new relationships,” Kardashian said, referencing Richie and her own ex Younes Bendjima. ”’Cause that caused fights between you and I about introducing the kids … We had to literally go to therapy to talk…to be able to communicate together.”
Britney Spears & Kevin Federline
Ah, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline — one of the defining relationships of the early 2000s. The former couple parted ways in 2007, and shares two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James. In 2017, Federline opened up to Bravo’s Personal Space about the disappointment that can come from juggling a co-parenting schedule.
“When you are co-parenting, you have to be willing to give up some of the things you would really like to do,” he reflected. “My boys will be gone [for Father’s Day], their mom’s off in Asia on tour. They are with me until the 15th, and then they are gone for the rest of the month. So I won’t have the boys for Father’s Day.”
“I’m used to not having all my kids [on Father’s Day],” he added. “This is gonna be one of those years.”
Rachel Bilson & Hayden Christensen
In 2017, longtime partners Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen parted ways, three years after the birth of their baby daughter Briar Rose. Just a few months later, Bilson spoke with People about trying to navigate a co-parenting relationship — and it sounds like the breakup was still pretty raw.
“We’re still kind of trying to figure it out,” she shared. “It’s a tricky one. And I don’t know that there is any right way, necessarily…No matter what I’m dealing with or how much it hurts or how much anger there is, it’s just about her.”
Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin may be the poster couple for conscious uncoupling, but even the GOOP founder is willing to admit that co-parenting didn’t come effortlessly. At #BlogHer15, Paltrow said her system for co-parenting kids Apple and Moses with ex-husband Martin was “definitely imperfect” — even though she considers him a “great dad.”
They want their kids to have both parents in their lives, Paltrow explained — but that doesn’t mean the difficult feelings of a separation disappear overnight. “What that really means is: Even if you hate me and never want to see me again, we are going to brunch.”
Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony
Jennifer Lopez split from ex-husband Marc Anthony in 2011. They share twins Emme and Max, and the star confessed to W Magazine in 2016 that learning to co-parent with Anthony was one of the toughest problems she’d ever faced.
“When it comes to work, I never get tired. But with personal failures, I have thought, This is too hard,” Lopez confessed. “When my marriage ended, it was not easy to find forgiveness. It wasn’t the dream that I had hoped for, and it would have been easier to fan the flames of resentment, disappointment, and anger. But Marc is the father of my children [8-year-old twins], and that’s never going away. So, I have to work to make things right. And that is, by far, the hardest work I do.”
Jewel & Ty Murray
Singer Jewel and ex Ty Murray split in 2014, and share son Kase. In 2016, Jewel told People about the co-parenting process, and truer words have never been spoken: “It’s work. I don’t want people to think it’s effortless — it’s work to do this because you obviously don’t get a divorce because things are going well.”
Idina Menzel & Taye Diggs
On an interview with Valentine in the Morning, Idina Menzel vented about the challenges of raising son Walker with ex-husband Taye Diggs — as well as the challenges of trying to bring a new partner into the mix. “It all sucks,” she said. “I don’t want to keep introducing [my son] to people and having him form bonds and then take them away, you know?”
“You have a lot of regret with a child, and feeling like you’re failing them in some way. Not giving them the idealistic scenario,” she continued. “Your child comes first. That’s all. It’s all about that. He comes first and you have to get past your own egos and you never talk bad about each other.”
Ian & Erin Ziering
In January 2020, Erin Ziering sat down with The Weather Channel’s Local Now to talk about the challenges of co-parenting with ex-husband and BH90210 star Ian Ziering. The ex-couple shares two daughters: Penna Mae and Mia Loren.
“When it comes to the girls, I really try to be honest with them about everything and have open conversations,” Erin told Local Now. “[Every night] we have conversations about what’s going on, what was said at school, how are you feeling, do you have any questions about what’s going on between Mom and Dad?”
“I was with my kids 24/7 and the idea of not having them 24/7 was terrifying — completely terrifying,” she continued. “Each little step of letting them go and spend time with their dad has been easier and easier, because I know I’ve raised them and they’re gonna be okay.”
Ciara & Future
Ciara and Future’s relationship ended in December 2014 — just a few months after their son, also named Future, was born. Ciara has been candid about the rapper’s lack of involvement in their son’s early life, and responded to backlash she faced when new beau Russell Wilson was photographed spending time with baby Future.
“I feel like in a sense it’s a double standard,” Ciara told CBS News. “You know because at one point in time, when [Future and I] were together, I took care of his kids as well — at a very young time in our relationship. I was involved very early in the stage of us getting to know each other…It’s kinda like, what’s the difference here? Wouldn’t you want someone to love the child?”
“To the guys that have such an opinion, know your facts,” she added. “I did reach out to my son’s father for him and Russell to speak and he didn’t want to talk to me, we didn’t get to talk so that was that. I don’t know more what they expect me to do except live my life and that’s what I’m doing.”
Jon & Kate Gosselin
In October 2019, Jon Gosselin of TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus 8 spoke to Us Magazine about his co-parenting relationship — or lack thereof — with ex Kate. “I don’t think co-parenting is ever going to exist between us because we are never going to see eye to eye.” Jon told the outlet.
“We have completely different parenting styles and she still wants to film, but I’m never going to sign work permits…So, at this point I’ve agreed that as long as Hannah and Collin still talk to their siblings and the kids can interact with each other, then that’s fine with me. I’ll go along. And I don’t have no direct contact as of right now.”
Currently, Jon has custody of kids Hannah and Collin, while Kate has custody of their other six children. The couple split in 2009, in the midst of filming their reality show.
Amanda Stanton
The Bachelor in Paradise alum took to Instagram sharing about her co-parenting relationship with ex-husband, Nick Buonfiglio.
“I’m going to be honest because maybe it will help other single parents feel better if they’re in the same boat,” Stanton said. “I’ll never get into detail, but no, we don’t. I wish we did, but unfortunately, I don’t think we ever will.”
Stanton shares Kinsley, 8, and Charlie, 6, with Buonfiglio and spoke her truth sharing, “I’ve lied for the longest time when people ask me this question and say we do because I truly wish we did and have always wanted to portray the image that we co-parent well, but I think it’s ok, to be honest, and to admit that we just don’t.”
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