Simba, star of The Lion King, is hailed by all the savannah as the next king of the jungle. But we’re not sure how exactly Rafiki knows he’s a boy. Isn’t the cute little cat missing something?
King Louie
Another “king” — this time King Louie from The Jungle Book— also has no discernible male features. Just one, big smooth orangutan belly, despite the fact that orangutans don’t live in India.
Bambi
This awkward shot of our beloved Bambi just has us at a loss for words. There’s just nothing underneath that fluffy tail. Nada. Zilch. If only little Bambi’s mom was still around to explain it all.
The Three Little Pigs
We don’t have to say anything about this one, right? Pretty sure you see it…
Pongo, “101 Dalmatians”
Everyone knows that boy dogs have junk between their hind legs. Did something bad happen to Pongo?
Pluto
Another boy dog without a toolbox. From this picture, the look on Pluto’s face seems like he’s just discovering there’s nothing “down there.”
A cherub: “Fantasia”
In addition to not having recognizable genitals, this flying toddler only has eight fingers and eight toes. Poor kid.
Centaurs: “Fantasia”
As if being half-man and half-horse wasn’t anatomically incorrect enough, you’d think the man part would be very manly. Instead, these Centaurs have smooth, convex chests that have no pecs or ab muscles whatsoever.
Aladdin
At least Aladdin has pectoral musicals, but apparently nipples were too complicated for these particular cartoonists.
Native Americans
More shirtless men with defined muscles, but still no nipples or navels. The animated film Peter Pan took a lot of risks, but clearly accurately depicting the male anatomy wasn’t one of them.
Kocoum: “Pocahontas”
We’re assuming the four-fingered paw prints on Kocoum’s chest are tattoos, but it’s really hard to believe they would tattoo over the nipples, given how sensitive that tissue is.
Zeus: “Hercules”
We can’t tell if that little swirl on Zeus’s pec is a single curly chest hair or a really lazy drawing of a nipple. He seems to have a couple more hairs on his belly, so we’re going with hair.
Pinocchio
Though he’s wearing pants, we think it’s safe to assume his nose is overcompensating for what he’s lacking downstairs. Pinocchio is determined to be a “real boy” one way or another.
Dumbo
Talk about big ears. Dumbo’s ears are so big they became his superpower, but he also lacks the tools to procreate.
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