Kody Brown and his wives (Meri, Robyn, Christine and Janelle) live a lifestyle that most of us can’t even fathom. Though the family definitely has their moments of drama, somehow they are able to make it all work. Here are some rules that the the Brown family seem to abide by to keep it their marriages intact and children cared for.
Support one another
Kody expects all of his wives to look out for one another. “It’s not a hard and fast rule, but I believe one of the key factors in being a good sister wife is having the ability to see the needs of another sister wife and consider her needs more important than your own,” Meri said in the book Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage, written by Kody.
Pass it down
It’s not only the right thing to do, but sister wives sharing clothes has become a marketing tool for another source of income for the family. The Kody Brown family operates MySisterwifesCloset, which sells apparel and jewelry selected by each of Kody’s wives. “Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to have access to all of your friend’s closets? My Sisterwife’s Closet is a store that will feature the very different styles and tastes of four very different women,” the website says.
Voice your beliefs
They may have strict religious guidelines and family rules that they follow, but Kody and his wives aren’t afraid to break the law if it means standing up for what they believe in. They fled Utah after being prosecuted for breaking polygamy laws and were fully aware that they might go to jail. “We all had listed who our kids would go to in the event we were taken away and put in jail,” Meri said in an interview with Oprah. “I remember having dinner with Kody during this time and looking across the table and wonder[ing] if it was the last time,” Robyn added.
Put family first
“We value family above all else,” it reads on the Brown family website. “We try to spend us much time together as possible. As our children get older we respect that they will make different choices in their lives. Regardless of those choices we will always love them and include them in our family.”
Accept all the kids
The sister wives have birthed their own kids, but they must treat all of Kody’s children as if they are their own. “The mothers should treat all of the children fairly,” Kody’s website says. “The children are all brothers and sisters and should be treated as such.”
Only one gets the ring
This isn’t just a Kody Brown rule, it’s the law. Legally, a person can only have one marriage recognized by United States law at a time, so the rest of Kody’s wives are just considered “spiritual unions.” Things can get tricky, as exemplified in the recent drama that ensued when Kody divorced wife No. 1, Meri, to marry Robyn so that her children from a previous marriage would be afforded insurance.
Plan sister-wife dates
According to the Brown family website, the move from one house in Utah to separate homes in Nevada has been hard on the sister wives, who were used to spending more time together. Now, the group has to be strategic in planning get-togethers. “The sister wives all go out to lunch once a week,” it says on their website. “There is a family get-together most Friday nights and Sundays are usually spent together.”
Ignore criticism
Obviously, most of the world doesn’t agree with the Brown family lifestyle, so people are going to have not-so-nice things to say about the group. The sister wives are able to take the bad-mouthing in stride and still appreciate their chosen way of living. “I know it is a cliché to say it, but it does truly take a village to raise a child and my children have grown up in the best town in America,” said Janelle in Kody’s Sister Wives book.
Love the complications
A one-on-one relationship is hard enough in itself, but the sister wives have no qualms about navigating the even more complicated world of pluralistic unions. “I would never trade my experiences with sister wives and the wonderfully large and dynamic family we share for the simplicity of monogamy,” Meri said in Kody’s book. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”
Learn to share
Kody easily admits that his needs can’t be met by just one wife. “To be honest, I am not sure if any one of my wives could fulfill all my needs, nor do I believe that I am fulfilling all of theirs,” Kody writes in his book. This is a tough pill to swallow for many, because society has us trained to believe that we need to fulfill our partner’s every need. Sister wives have to make peace with other people being in their husband’s life or they’ll drive themselves crazy.
Be flexible
When you’re in a pluralistic relationship, you’ve got to be flexible. “I think that in order to keep our marriages strong, it’s very important that we be forgiving, No. 1,” Kody said in an interview with TLC. “We let things that are offensive or hurtful pass and find passion and connection in each relationship.”
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