These are, hands down, the best 15 quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Bleed
Film usage: The Dark Knight wants to keep fighting… with zero appendages. Modern usage: When someone at work threatens to tell everyone you like Nickelback but you feel proud of your bad taste in music.
Spanking
Film usage: A castle full of virgins meets a knight. Modern usage: When you get out of the shower first thing in the morning.
Valiant
Film usage: Arthur is hot on the trail of his life purpose… Modern usage: When you’re drunk and are having trouble with consonants…
Coconuts
Film usage: Discussing King Arthur’s use of coconut sound effects instead of an actual horse. Modern usage: When someone is totally full of shit.
Fart
Film usage: The French taunt the English. Modern usage: When you want to say “f*** you” (in a professional setting, of course).
Dead vs. happy
Film usage: An old man tries not to be put on the “death cart.” Modern usage: When you’re being ignored. Integrate a short tap dance as need be.
Camelot
Film usage: Arthur decides to keep on his quest. Modern usage: When you don’t want to go to that bar where all the guys have popped collars and unisex names.
Flesh wound
Film usage: The Dark Knight’s response after having his arm chopped off. Modern usage: When you have a drunken tumble and are bleeding everywhere, but don’t feel pain.
Knights
Film usage: The terrifying Knights of Ni change their name. Modern usage: When you just don’t want to talk to someone anymore and need a quick exit strategy.
Run away!
Film usage: Chanted when something scary happens. Modern usage: When your boss is in a bad mood. This can also be utilized in reference to your significant other.
Newt
Film usage: The townspeople try to convict a woman of being a witch. Modern usage: When you fake a sick day at work and get caught at the video arcade by your boss on her lunch break.
Taunt
Film usage: The French continue to taunt the English. Modern usage: When your coworker won’t stop talking about Honey Boo Boo.
Tim
Film usage: A magician reveals his magical name. Modern usage: When you introduce yourself at a bar, substitute your own name. If the guy laughs, he’s a keeper.
Rabbit
Film usage: As a warning, complete with fang gestures near the mouth. Modern usage: When a girl is an obvious psycho your best male friend should not be dating.
Herring
Film usage: The Knights of Ni make an unfathomable request. Modern usage: When your boyfriend thinks you’re an acrobat in bed even though you’re clearly as flexible as the Pope’s morals.
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