Bananas. This episode of Game of Thrones is going to be bananas.
The adorable Stark army
I say adorable because that’s exactly what it is. Unfortunately, Sansa and Jon’s campaign for fighting men didn’t go super swimmingly. I mean, sure, they got those 62 fighting men from House Mormont, but after that jackpot, they came up pretty short. This photo shows them in all of their glory. The Mormont bear sigils are visible, as well as some Stark direwolf sigils on banners/shields. Is that Davos leading the way on horseback? I am certainly nervous for him; not that he’ll likely be on the front lines of battle. My only hope is that one of the Northern houses who sided with Ramsay will turn on him. My money is still on House Umber because I just don’t think that Rickon trade was what it seemed to be.
Jon looking serious with a man-bun
This looks pretty casual. I think it’s probably just Jon looking like he owns the place. Hopefully he is planning what his crown will look like when he wins this battle and becomes the King of the North.
Ramsay being straight-up awful
I mean, he’s technically not doing anything obviously awful in this still photo, but I bet he is thinking awful thoughts. Also, look at that luxuriously locked, bearded fellow next to him. That looks an awful lot like Smalljon Umber huh? I am still holding out hope that he turns on Ramsay at the last minute. That would make for some must-see TV. It looks like he trusts him after that Rickon trade, though. To have him at his side during this battle sends a clear message that he’s an important player here. Come on, Umbers! Do the right thing!
Two Starks looking majestic AF
I have to say, I am truly obsessed with Sansa Stark’s sigil dress. It’s seriously badass. I have to wonder if Sansa is going to see the battlefield at all. I mean, if anyone should kill Ramsay, it’s Sansa. Again, no one is safe from being eliminated here. Remember when Ned Stark was your favorite character for like… a minute? Yeah. Everyone is fair game this episode. We could see some seriously beloved characters bite it.
Ser Davos
Guys, Davos is leading the men into battle. He’s leading the men into battle, and I am so scared for him! I feel like he is so necessary for the future, but then I remember that nothing is pure and true in this world that George R. R. Martin has created.
Tormund doing Tormund
Tormund is simply beasting out to the extreme during battle, obviously. I have to be honest, I am nervous for him. They have set him up to be pretty lovable, and we all know how that works out in the world of Game of Thrones. Need I remind you of Hodor? Pour one out for Hodor. Tormund needs to survive to woo Brienne!
Well, at least they have giants
One thing we have on our side (because, I am clearly part of this now) is that we have giants. Giants are mean dudes who can pick men up with one hand and throw them across a battlefield, so at least we have that. I can’t decide whether I want Ramsay to die via giant or Sansa…
Abort! Abort!
Um, Jon, run away! There are horses charging directly at you! This does not evoke feelings of confidence in me! I can’t. This doesn’t look very promising, but I am going to choose to think positive thoughts. They wouldn’t resurrect Jon just to kill him again, right? RIGHT?
Davos is not OK
DAVOS, I AM WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I can’t watch Davos die, guys. I can’t. I am not ready. I am still dealing with the grief of Hodor, and Davos has a beard that soothes me. I don’t like seeing him in battle. It’s not safe. He looks positively battle-worn in this photo, and it gives me anxiety.
Who is burning on those X’s??
All right, seriously. There is no way that Ramsay put two empty, flaming X’s in front of his army. There are bodies on those things, and I am now fearing that one of them has the real potential to hold Rickon. I mean, that would certainly be a brilliant tactic to rattle Jon and Sansa right off the jump. Ramsay, I hate you for making me think like you now.
Davos surveying a pile of sticks
It kind of seems like that pile of sticks could have possibly been a pyre at which a certain little girl was burned alive for absolutely no reason. Remember, Davos has zero clue as of right now that Shireen Baratheon was burned alive by Melisandre because she thought the Lord of Light wanted her as a sacrifice to make Stannis win the war. We all know how that turned out for Stannis. Davos had a special bond with Shireen and left for Castle Black before the bonfire festivities. I have been wondering when he would finally find out the truth, and this looks like we might see it happen this episode.
Hey Ramsay
So, I realize that he is a sadistic psychopath, but I feel like this is Ramsay’s best look, no? No? I’ll see myself out.
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