Despite the tired idea that women can’t have it all, working moms support their families financially and find time to spend with their kids every single day. It can be tough for mothers if they feel like they’re missing out on important milestones by going back to work after maternity leave, or even to adjust to missing out on what their kids are up to once they start school and everyone has somewhere to be during the day. We think it’s fair to say every parent deals with this feeling of guilt to some extent — even celebrities, whose jobs sometimes take them all over the world for weeks or months on end.
In 2018, Mindy Kaling admitted she had to “release myself from mom guilt at least a couple times a day.” The entertainment multi-hyphenate told InStyle, “I love my career and I don’t want to make myself feel bad about pursuing both [my job and motherhood].” She added, “Just cutting myself some slack has been very helpful for me.”
She’s not the only famous mama who has spoken about overcoming mom guilt. Even mentally tough athlete Serena Williams has opened up about experiencing the motherhood phenomenon. The tennis legend shared in an Instagram post that she relies on her support system — her mom, sister, and friends — to reassure her that her feelings are valid and normal. Williams wrote, “It’s totally normal to feel like I’m not doing enough for my baby. We have all been there. I work a lot, I train, and I’m trying to be the best athlete I can be.”
Below you’ll find more of our favorite quotes from several celebrity mothers who have had to deal with overcoming mom guilt, many of whom encourage fellow mamas to take time for themselves outside work and family time. Self-care matters, especially when you’re busy with jobs and kids and all the other adult responsibilities that come with them — here’s how these celeb moms are handling it all.
A version of this article was originally published in April 2020.
Hilary Duff
Hilary Duff’s resolution for 2024 is something a lot of moms can relate to: “not feeling guilty about making time for myself,” she told SheKnows in a Nov. 2023 interview as part of her partnership with Target.
The Lizzie McGuire alum, who is mom to Luca with ex Mike Comrie, and Banks and Mae with husband Matthew Koma, said she struggles with “making memories with friends instead of just always thinking about making memories with my family.”
“It’s important to like, fill your cup and feel like an adult outside of just being a mom,” she told us. “And honestly, being a mom is the greatest gift of my entire life. I would be having no idea what my identity would be if I didn’t have my kiddos. But you know, I also need to be fulfilled and to have fun and make memories outside of them, so I feel like a human being and not like a mom bot that’s just like go go go.”
One way she did this was by taking a moms’ trip for Mother’s Day in 2023. “I spent the morning with my kids, they brought me breakfast in bed — pretty much inedible, but really cute — and cards for me and gave me hugs and cuddles, and then I packed a bag and I went to Palm Springs with my girlfriends. And it was really hard to do that. I was feeling super guilty about it. And I had the best time.”
“So I think it’s really important, you know, to do stuff like that,” she continued. “And I work so I have working mom’s guilt as well. But working and taking time away in that sense is really different than taking personal time.”
The singer and children’s author is also proud of herself as a mom. The thing that surprised her the most about motherhood? “Everything that I’m capable of,” she told SheKnows.
“I knew I was gonna love my kids. I knew I was always meant to be a mom. But I think feeling like the amount of patience I’ve learned to have, or the amount that I can do in one day. I think that surprised me the most. I really can’t remember…I mean, I’m a mom of an 11-year-old. So, you know, it’s hard to think about my identity before becoming a mom. And I’m like, ‘What did I do all day?’ These days it’s crazy, you know.”
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez’s mom guilt comes from worrying about how her fame will affect her twins, Max and Emme, who she shares with ex Marc Anthony.
“I think being the child of famous parents is not something many people can understand, and I feel for [my kids] for that because they didn’t choose that…” she told Audacy, adding that her kids “have just started letting me know how people treat them.”
“So when they walk into the room, that’s what people are thinking about,” she said. “They’re not seeing them for who they are. And I think that has to be a really hard thing for them. So I would love to be able to protect them from that… Being judged by people that you don’t even know in a way is I think really difficult for them to grow up and be themselves. They know that there’s a lens on them, and that’s hard.”
The Mother star realizes that this might not be a “very relatable thing” for many moms, but it’s still a problem. “But it’s hard for them, I think. And I did that to them, and so again we have this guilt as moms, what we do and what we brought into their lives. So there’s that part.”
Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence struggles with feeling guilt over her baby’s happiness and wellbeing. The Hunger Games alum, who shares son Cy with husband Cooke Maroney, told Viola Davis in an interview with Variety, “Every day of being a mom, I feel awful. I feel guilty.”
She explained, “I’m playing with [my son] and I’m like, ‘Is this what he wants to be doing? Should we be outside? We’re outside. What if he’s cold? What if he’s going to get sick? Should we be inside? Is this enough? Is this developing your brain enough?’”
Being a mom is exhausting!
Jeannie Mai
Jeannie Mai shares daughter Monaco with ex-husband Jeezy. She opened up about working mom guilt on Instagram in Jan. 2023.
“As a working mom, there are many times where I gotta tune out…And coming back, I feel the guilt every time I do. Monaco is teaching me what being ‘in the moment’ really means and how I can improve my human connection with everyone.” Mai added, “This experiment also taught me how I can make up the time with Monaco when mommy has to step away. Hope this helps Mommies out there.”
Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj feels mom guilt when parenting her son, who she shares with husband Kenny Petty.
“There’s no such thing as confidence in parenthood,” the Grammy-winner told Vogue. She went on, “I kind of wish that someone had told me — although I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to understand it — that there’s a level of anxiety, and you think it’s going to go away, but in fact it gets scarier. So often you think: I don’t know how to do this!”
She also told a story about meeting a woman who was a proud homemaker. “She started to feel guilty about not working, and, defying a chorus of skeptics, she put herself through nursing school. And then, as a nurse, she started to feel guilty for working, for missing precious moments in her children’s lives,” Minaj recalled. “I was like, OMFG. She felt guilt when she was doing the perfect homemaker thing, and guilt as a working mom when she missed a moment in their lives. Maybe God let that lady say that to me because it made me think, Well, if I’m going to have mom guilt regardless, I might as well continue doing the only thing I know how to freaking do, which is make music.”
Megan Fox
Megan Fox feels mom guilt when she travels without sons Noah, Bodhi, and Journey, who she shares with ex-husband Brian Austin Green.
“I cry often, every new moon usually,” she told Glamour. “I get in the bath and cry a lot about it, because it is hard and not because of pressures that anybody else or society puts on you, but it is just hard being separated from them in that way. They are my DNA.”
The Jennifer’s Body star explained that splitting parenting duties with her ex makes her feel like she’s “not doing a good enough job.” “That just is what it is,” she continued. “And in some ways that allows me to have moments for myself, where I can live my life as me, not just always being someone’s mother and that’s nice, but you always struggle with the guilt, kind of feeling like, ‘I haven’t done enough’.”
Haven’t we all felt like that at one time or another?
Laura Prepon
Laura Prepon admitted to having mom guilt as a working mom. “The work-life balance is tough. You wanna be home with your kids and then when you’re with your kids, you’re like, ‘I should be working.’ And that mom guilt is still an issue,” she told US Magazinein June 2022. “I really have to balance work life and mom life. Parents have been dealing with it for a very, very long time, I’m sure, but that kind of balance is definitely hard.”
The Orange Is the New Black star, who is mom to Ella and a son with husband Ben Foster, continued, “You figure it out and we have a great family dynamic. Thank goodness. We’ll figure it out, but that’s probably the toughest thing — being away from them when I’m at work. The guilt is just overwhelming sometimes.”
Tori Spelling
Tori Spelling struggles with mom guilt when parenting her kids Liam, Stella, Hattie, Finn, and Beau, who she shares with ex-husband Dean McDermott.
“A lot of times, I find myself trying to do everything myself,” she previously told PEOPLE. “It’s really hard for me because I definitely grew up in a family where we had a lot of support around. I grew up with a nanny full-time, so I was always that girl that was like, ‘When I have kids, I’m going to do it all myself.’”
“We put so much pressure and guilt on ourselves that I think expectations are too hard,” she added. “As long as they’re happy, they’re healthy, they’re loved, at the end of the day, I’m like, ‘Okay. Some things fell through the cracks. We didn’t get everything done. Tomorrow’s a new day.’” That is so true!
Shawn Johnson
Being a mom is hard, something Shawn Johnson is all too familiar with. The former Olympian, who is mom to Drew, Jett, and a baby-on-the-way with husband Andrew East, wrote about one of her more challenging days on Instagram.
“Just one of those mornings,” she wrote. “Mom guilt caused by…Drew wouldn’t eat, wanted held because I was nursing brother, didn’t like her outfit, wanted to play in mommy’s closet when we needed to leave…All of the things and my patience was very thin.”
Johnson continued, “I had a meltdown this morning. Mom guilt, wife guilt (when mom guilt hits… I become hard to be around so I become edgy with the hubs)…just venting because I’m reading all of these ‘you make it look easy’ messages which are so sweet but just know, like everyone, hard days happen. Momming is hard.”
She told SheKnows in Jan. 2023, “I feel like with being a mom, the hardest part is that mom guilt and obsessing over not doing things perfectly. And I just kinda want to live in the moment and just do my best every single day that I can — whatever threshold that is — and leave the rest behind.”
We love that!
Jennifer Garner
Per HuffPost, Jennifer Garner told Us Magazine in 2013, “There’s an internal battle. I need to work, I need to work, I need to work, and I need to be home with my kids, and the kids win,” she explained.
Garner, who shares Violet, Seraphina, and Samuel with ex-husband Ben Affleck, continued, “It’s about getting the kids up and fed, getting one to school, getting the other down for a nap, going to the grocery store, picking one up from school, getting the other one down for another nap, cooking dinner… I live my life at these two extremes. I’m either a full-time stay-at-home mom or a full-time actress.”
Luckily, her own mom has helped her feel better about being a working mom.
“Working moms … get all freaked out because we’re told constantly, ‘You have 18 summers, you have this much time. Time is fleeting.’ And it makes you panic,” the 13 Going on 30 star told Access Hollywoodin Oct. 2023. “And my mom has always said to me, ‘You’re their mom forever. Don’t worry, you can do your job. You’re their mom forever… your kids are gonna be so proud of you.’ She’s always given me that kind of grounding.”
Gwen Stefani
In 2016, Gwen Stefani admitted to Glamour U.K., “When you’re a parent, you’re just like, ‘God, I hope they like me when they grow up. I hope that I did a good job. I hope they’re gonna be happy.’ The moment you get pregnant, you’re tortured by the fear of not doing it well,” she admitted.
Stefani added, “But I feel at peace with that right now. I’m trying to be present, not thinking and worrying about the past or the future.”
In a March 2021 interview on DJ Khaled’s The First Onepodcast, Stefani admitted that she feels guilty daily. “I think it’s really hard to do it all, and impossible to do. And every single day … I feel guilty,” she said.
“Yesterday, I was so guilty because I had a day off with the kids, and then I got on a Zoom about doing a video or something, and it was going on and on for like an hour and a half, and I was like, ‘What am I doing? I’ve got to get off the Zoom, this is my day with my kids.’ … Like, so much guilt all the time,” she explained.
“It’s hard to be in the moment, too,” she added. “You’re with your kids and you want to be doing your thing, and then when you’re doing your thing, you want to be with your kids. It’s hard.”
Stefani shares Kingston, Zuma, and Apollo with ex-husband Gavin Rossdale.
Sharna Burgess
In October 2023, Sharna Burgess admitted she was struggling with mom guilt due to the poor timing of a few events. The Dancing with the Stars pro wrote on her Instagram Story, “New emotional experience unlocked… I’m headed to Cabo for a girls trip that has been over a year in the making. The timing sucks.” She explained, “Zane is a champ and already on the mend from HF&M however… the mom guilt for leaving is unreal.”
Burgess continued, “I was going to back out but Bri so beautifully reminded me that I need and deserve these few days.” Of her fiancé Brian Austin Green, the dancer gushed, “I’m so lucky I have a man that supports and sees me AND that I fully trust in knowing the house kids and life all keep flowing as normal even if I’m away.” She added, “Everyone is ok. I’m ok..ish. And this will be fun.”
Kourtney Kardashian Barker
On an episode of The Kardashians, Kourtney Kardashian Barker explained that she and husband Travis Barker both feel guilty when they travel without their kids, whether it be for work or leisure. “We’re both really similar and get this guilty feeling, but we shorten [out trips] as much as we can.”
The eldest Kardashian notably took a step back from her involvement in Keeping Up With the Kardashians to spend “more time as a mom.” She also told Parenting in 2011 following the birth of her eldest son, “Unless I’m working, I can’t be away from him without feeling guilty. It doesn’t feel good or natural to be, so it’s a struggle.”
Mindy Kaling
As a single mom, Mindy Kaling advocates asking for help. In 2018, she told InStyle, “I’ve had to learn to release myself from mom guilt at least a couple times a day. That’s been a big one for me.”
The Office alum added, “I’m also learning to feel better about asking for help, whether it’s from family or hiring help. It’s not profound, but I love my career and I don’t want to make myself feel bad about pursuing both. Just cutting myself some slack has been very helpful for me.”
Serena Williams
In 2018, Serena Williams opened up on Instagram about dealing with mom guilt. “I like communication best,” she wrote. “Talking things through with my mom, my sisters, my friends let me know that my feelings are totally normal. It’s totally normal to feel like I’m not doing enough for my baby. We have all been there. I work a lot, I train, and I’m trying to be the best athlete I can be,” she shared.
Williams added, “However, that means although I have been with her every day of her life, I’m not around as much as I would like to be. Most of you moms deal with the same thing. Whether stay-at-home or working, finding that balance with kids is a true art,” the tennis legend wrote. “You are the true heroes. I’m here to say: if you are having a rough day or week — it’s ok — I am, too!!! There’s always [tomorrow]!”
Kate Hudson
In 2016, Kate Hudson penned an essay for InStyle about the struggles of being a working single mom of two. She confessed, “Some days I feel like I should win best mom of the day award, and some days I find myself doing strange things that don’t have any real purpose, in faraway corners in my house, and I realize I am literally and deliberately hiding from my children.”
Hudson also reminded other moms that taking time for themselves is just as important as spending time with their kids: “Yes, I help my kids with their homework. But I also get bored doing it,” the actress admitted. “I will sit and listen to my children pontificate and discuss their ideas till the day is long because it warms my heart, but I really don’t want to do math! I’m gonna say it: I’d prefer to watch The Bachelor rather than do fractions and divisions.”
Jessica Alba
Jessica Alba encourages moms to take care of themselves, too. “Don’t be hard on yourself,” she told Parents Latina. “Doing your best to be present wherever you are is what’s important.” She added, “It’s worth it to recharge once a week. Get sleep, have a date night or a girls’ night in, and drink some wine!”
Pink
“I put way too much pressure on myself, I think we all do,” Pink told Entertainment Tonight in 2017. “I don’t know, we put that on ourselves, that is how we mom now.”
The musician added that it’s possible to turn those feelings into something positive. “I want to follow my passion too, and I want my kids to see what it looks like to have a mom that is a boss,” she said. “That is following her passion, that is working really hard towards her goals, but there is always a choice… It is a balance.”
Debra Messing
Debra Messing told PopSugar in 2014 that setting boundaries and relying on loved ones is key to avoiding mom guilt, especially as a single mom. “Knowing your limitations [is] important,” she said. “It took me a long time, but now I have a pretty good idea of how many hours I can work on a TV show and still feel like I’m able to be present when I get home.”
Messing added, “Make sure you have people around you that can give you support and help, whether it’s best friends, family members, or a babysitter. It’s incredibly hard even when you don’t have a job. So, when you have a full-time job on top of that, you just have to be über organized, and that was a hard lesson for me to learn.”
Carrie Underwood
After the birth of her son Isaiah, Carrie Underwood admitted in 2015 that striking a balance is tough. “I think mom guilt is rampant in my life,” she told the Associated Press. “I am sure it is in any mom’s… I still constantly wonder, ‘Is this fair to him? Is my life fair to him?’ He’s my No. 1 priority,” she said. “But it’s just a question of How am I going to do this?… I’ll probably never find the answers to those questions.”
Kate Winslet
Kate Winslet told HuffPost, “I have had moments in the last couple of years where, even though I’ve been at work and I go home and see the kids in the evening, I’ve felt that pull so badly.”
The actress confessed, “I’ve said to [my husband] ‘Maybe I’ve got to stop this acting lark,’ and he laughs at me. He says, ‘Babe, you can’t do that and you mustn’t do that, because it’s such a big part of you.’ It’s about finding balance. You have to be vigilant about important family things and important work things. It’s a real juggle.”
Tia Mowry-Hardrict
Tia Mowry-Hardrict told Vibe, “The number-one key is to… prioritize. I’m a mother and wife first because family is important to me, and a part of having a balanced life is not feeling guilty about taking care of yourself.”
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sarah Jessica Parker told Parade in 2011 that it’s all about ebb and flow. “We’ve had two occasions recently where both Matthew [Broderick] and I were working, and it was so hard on the kids. Especially James Wilkie, because he can really articulate how he feels about our absence,” she said of their son.
“On the other hand, there are big chunks of time when we’re home a lot more than conventionally working parents,” the actress said. “So you hope to make up for it.”
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