Your jelly bean personality quiz

Your choice in sweet snacks says more about you than you realize. We have a theory that your entire personality can be revealed by the jelly beans you love. Take the following quiz, tell us what jelly beans you’d eat, and we’ll tell you who you are.

Be careful as you snack on your favorite jelly beans. Why? Because your favorite jelly beans tell the whole world a lot about you. Every little candy you pop is a doorway into your soul, revealing to everyone whether you’re sassy and adventurous, safe and cautious or somewhere in between.

Don’t believe it? Run to the store, treat yourself to a few handfuls (or gallons) of fabulous jelly beans, and then come back. Your choice of jelly beans will reveal everything you need to know in a few sweet bites. Just picture yourself in these situations, pick the answer that best reflects you, and total up the points. Look at the end for the secret to who you are.

A lot of times buffets serve large, oval-shaped, generic-brand jelly beans like your grandmother serves at Easter. They’re still great (they’re jelly beans, after all), but they’re not as good as jelly beans can be.

• 1 point: You go for the green jelly beans. They’re nice, safe and good pretty much anytime you eat them.
• 2 points: You get yourself a big scoop of them and figure you will love them no matter what you get. Or at least you can put the ones you don’t like on someone else’s plate.
• 3 points: Black jelly beans. There’s something about their dark mystery you find irresistible.
• 4 points: White jelly beans. You know they’re most likely vanilla-coconut-awful flavored, but you remember this one time you had a white jelly bean and it was awesome.

There are two bags of jelly beans left. One is sure to be sour. The other is nothing but sweet.

• 1 point: Sweet jelly beans. Sour beans are scary.
• 2 points: You pick the sweet jelly beans but secretly wish you could have had a few sours.
• 3 points: Sour all the way, but you eat only a few at a time to avoid “the pucker.”
• 4 points: Not only do you pick the sour, but you slam the entire bag as quick as you can. Sour face, be damned!

The cosmos of jelly beans is laid out before you. What do you choose?

• 1 point: Orange or lemon. At least that way you can pretend you’re getting vitamin C.
• 2 points: Red, because Taylor Swift named an album after it.
• 3 points: Red, because it’s the color of danger. Like that red dress (or tux) you wear, that red car you drive and those red lights you ignore. Oh yeah!
• 4 points: The mixture. Because life is like a bag of jelly beans. You never know what you’re going to get, and you don’t care when you quote movies wrong.

You can either pick one type of jelly bean (assume it’s a type you like), or you can choose a bag with, like, 20 kinds. What are you going to do?

• 1 point: One type, because you know what you’re getting. It’s not exciting, but it’s OK. Jelly beans are good.
• 2 points: Mixed variety, but you open up the package and sort them out because some jelly beans are yuck. Like buttered popcorn. Seriously. Who thought that was a good idea?
• 3 points: You pick mixed variety and pop them in your mouth two or three at a time because you want to know what toasted marshmallow-margarita-pomegranate jelly beans taste like. Even if you instantly regret it.
• 4 points: One type. Because you just found jelly beans made from ghost peppers.

You know, the type from Harry Potter? How do you handle this situation?

• 1 point: Every flavor of beans? No, thanks.
• 2 points: Read the instructions very carefully so you can avoid the following flavors: vomit, grass, black pepper and snot.
• 3 points: You eat some beans that you’re pretty sure are safe and then try the black pepper one. That way you have your every-flavor-of-bean war story.
• 4 points: Read the instructions very carefully so you can slam the following flavors: vomit, grass, black pepper and snot. Even if you instantly regret it.

You wish for…

• 1 point: A giant jelly bean you can hollow out and turn into a boat. Practical, but not very romantic.
• 2 points: Cinnamon, because you read once that wild animals can be baited by the smell of cinnamon or that bugs can’t stand the smell. None of which is likely true, but at least you’re giving it a shot.
• 3 points: A big bag of mixed jelly beans, because you don’t want to get bored.
• 4 points: A never-ending supply of black jelly beans — the color of the night — because when you’re rescued, you want people to wonder why you have a black tongue.

1-8: Bean still in the shell. There’s nothing wrong with being a jelly bean fan who likes life easy. When challenge comes, you play it safe and practical. It’s cool — the world needs you, and there are jelly beans for you at the end of the buffet. Enjoy.

9-15: Bean doing well. Solid, friendly, direct. You know what you like, and you’ve stepped out of your shell. Mostly. Gourmet beans are your thing, as long as you know the brand and are pretty sure you’ve had that flavor before. Stay away from the sour end; it can be a bit much.

16-21: Jumping bean aka the adventure bean aka the mystery bean (not to be confused with Mr. Bean). You’re a thrill seeker. You like to live dangerously and do things your own way. You have your own taste in jelly beans, and that’s awesome. Only the best beans for you.

22 and over: God, save your bean. You’ve done it. You’ve proven that your life is one giant adrenaline rush by the jelly bean choices you make. The jelly bean world is your oyster (say, there’s an idea… oyster jelly beans…), but you probably stay away from the red, green, yellow and orange beans in favor of black licorice, hot sauce and vomit beans. After all, life is short, and there are a lot of jelly beans out there. YOLO!

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