10 Oreo flavors that we hope never see the light of day

Oreo used to stick to plain old black and white, but now its flavors are in technicolor.

From Root Beer Float to Pumpkin Spice, the brand has branched out. But with every real flavor it announces, there seem to be dozens of rumors about the next trendy flavors. Right now, everyone’s talking about a possible Red Velvet Oreo. But is it real?

An Oreo spokesperson could neither confirm nor deny an upcoming Red Velvet Oreo to SheKnows. “Oreo limited-edition flavors are constantly a source of excitement and speculation. Over the last few years, we’ve seen a number of made-up flavors ‘leak’ online, but we’ve also seen actual flavors leak too. When we have more information to share about any of our new limited-edition flavors, we’ll be sure to let you know.”

Granted, a Red Velvet Oreo sounds kind of baller. But just because a food is trending doesn’t mean it would make a good cookie.

For your consideration:

10 Oreo flavors that we hope never see the light of day

1. Kale Oreos

Kale is the hottest vegetable around. Kale smoothies, kale chips… Why not kale Oreos? Just imagine a dingy green cookie with a kale-flecked tofu crème icing. Sounds good, eh?

2. Cricket Oreos

Edible insects are all the rage right now, what with their high protein content and the foodie badge of honor that goes along with eating them. Why not add cricket flour to Oreo cookies — or just dip the edges of the Oreo into a vat of the critters like sprinkles?

3. Calamari Oreos

Calamari is one of the most beloved appetizers in the country. Imagine if it were Oreo-ified? Two deep-fried squid discs sandwiching an emulsified olive oil-garlic crème. Come on, it could work!

4. Kombucha Oreos

This fizzy probiotic drink is more popular than ever, and not just with the yoga set. A sweet and spicy cayenne cookie with a lemon frosting full of good-for-you bacteria — this one actually sounds kind of good!

5. Blood sausage Oreos

It’s sausage made of blood, and that tells you everything you need to know about why it hasn’t been selected as the next Oreo flavor, no matter how trendy it is.

6. Earwax Oreos

Hey, they did it with jelly beans. Why not make every-flavor Oreos, straight out of Harry Potter? Each bag could be a mystery, with different flavors like grass, toast, treacle… You get the idea.

7. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Oreos

Listen, people will put this stuff on anything, so of all the gross, rejected Oreo ideas, this might be the one to actually turn a profit. I just hope no one at Oreo HQ reads this and gets inspired.

8. Fried chicken Oreos

Yeah, for a brief moment everyone freaked out that this might actually be a thing. But while chicken and waffles is a mash-up that makes sense, the thought of a chicken-flavored cookie just reallllly doesn’t do it for me. I think it’s OK to keep meat and dessert separate.

9. Bacon Oreos

I’m actually really surprised this hasn’t happened yet. Mark my words: Bacon Oreos will either happen or at least be the subject of major speculation at some point in the near future. Because bacon.

10. Breast milk Oreos

There’s breast milk ice cream and breast milk jewelry, but breast milk Oreos? This would give a whole new meaning to milk and cookies. But just because it’s allegedly “the greatest health supplement ever” doesn’t mean we want it in our food.

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