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17 Thoughts you have when trying European chocolate for the first time

We love chocolate. No, I mean we love it. But if you’ve only ever had American chocolate, you’re just missing out.

While the Swiss are known as the best chocolatiers in the world, that doesn’t mean they’re the only game in Europe. Indeed, it’s impossible to find a country in Europe whose worst chocolate isn’t 20 times better than the stuff in the States. The minute you bite into a fine nugget of European chocolate, your head will spin with a multitude of thoughts, all leading to one unfortunate conclusion — you’ll never eat American chocolate again.

1. Where have you been all my life?

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2. Click, click, type, type, type… “Jobs in Switzerland”

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3. What do you think of American chocolate now?

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4. Show me where you want me to lick you.

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5. If there’s no chocolate in heaven, I’ll just stay here.

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6. OK, there are 200 calories in an ounce of this stuff, so if I skip dinner I can have…

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7. Anything would taste good with this drizzled on it… slowly.

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8. Will work for Godiva.

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9. What wine do you pair this with? Never mind. Who needs the wine?

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10. I wonder how many pairs of Pradas I’d have to sell to keep myself in this year-round.

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11. Mmmm… antioxidants.

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12. Now I know what she was having.

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13. I could get used to this…

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14. Who needs a man?

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15. The European stuff really is better…

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16. …No, like way better…

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17. …No, like, “damn, girl!” better.

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