If you ask me, there isn’t much Alton Brown can’t do. His answers to questions are gospel. When I’m in a bind in the kitchen, I scroll through Google, looking for the Alton Brown method. Maybe I’m a bit of a fangirl. But whether or not you share my zeal and adoration for the Food Network star and host of Cutthroat Kitchen, you can’t deny he has excellent advice, amazing comedic timing and a general awesomeness about him.
So it’s no surprise that he killed it in his recent AMA on Eater. These are the 10 best moments that will make you love him even more.
1. The time he won this AMA and all future AMAs
On shitfoodblogger’s offer to hang out, give each other back rubs and make queso fundido: “I would have to first sample the queso…I’m picky.”
And that, my friend, is why Alton is the very best.
2. The time he won my heart
On his alcoholic beverage of choice: “I have to have just one? That’s so unfair. But okay…bourbon.”
3. The time he gave legit advice about kids and food
On getting children to try new foods: “Never ever ever ever ever let your kid eat from the children’s menu at restaurants and never ever ever make your kid special food to allow them to avoid whatever the family is eating.”
4. The time he made it OK to eat packaged ramen
On MSG: “To tell you the truth, I don’t have a problem with it. It’s a tool that has it’s [sic] place, but don’t go overboard.”
5. The time he revealed his plan to take over the world
On his website project: “My goal is simple…get every American within the sound of my web voice to cook three meals a week. Is that too much to ask?”
6. The time he made us wish he would make kids cry
On the possibility of a kids’ version of Cutthroat Kitchen: “There is nothing I’d like more than to make children cry on Cutthroat Kitchen. And of course I’d only give them like $5 to start with (evil laughter).”
7. The time he said he could take a horse-sized duck
On whether he’d rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck: “I’ll go with the horse-sized duck. They’re typically unstable out of water.”
8. The time he broke our Sriracha-loving hearts
On which trendy ingredient is ridiculously overused: “SRIRACHA!!!”
9. The time he warned us to not get within breathing distance of him
On the two things he must have daily: “Coffee. Sardines.”
10. The time he made us want to rock a bow tie
On how to start wearing bow ties: “…as far as wearing them, you just freakin’ wear them. Collar type is important though as bows don’t look good with spreads.”
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