Alcohol at Taco Bell could mean your ‘fourth meal’ is about to get better

We’ve known for years that nothing goes together better than a box full of wine and a bag full of soft tacos.

Now it looks like Taco Bell is accepting that a large number of its patrons work themselves up for the “hey guys, let’s go get an obscene amount of Cheesy Gordita Crunches” part of the evening during the all important “hey guys, watch me do this keg stand” part of the evening, and we couldn’t be happier. Really.

A Taco Bell that will soon open its doors in the Wicker Park neighborhood in Chicago has applied for a liquor license, which has led to speculation that everyone’s favorite fourth meal place might start serving the good stuff during regular meals. It certainly wouldn’t be the first place offering “Mexican” fare to supplement its menu with cervezas and margaritas; slightly classier favorites like Chipotle and Qdoba already do. Plus, any Texan like myself will tell you that one without the other is just a sad, practically worthless endeavor. Tacos and beer go together like burgers and beer. Or sushi and beer. Or fried chicken and beer. Basically beer can improve anything you couple it with.

But in all seriousness, this is part of the trend we’ve been seeing with fast-food joints, like McDonald’s, as they struggle to keep up with the ever more popular “fast-casual” chains and local upscale favorites that offer high-quality food alongside adult beverages, all in the name of making your dining experience feel a little less greasy and shameful.

But you know what? I don’t want to see Taco Bell start serving artisanal tacos al pastor with handcrafted, top-shelf margaritas. I want to see a regular old Taco Bell mixing some janky Cactus Gold tequila into its Mountain Dew Baja Blast or Starburst Strawberry Freeze, because let’s face it — that’s the only way either of those beverages is ever going to be palatable.

Let’s be honest: Taco Bell is drunk food. This is why we love Taco Bell. We go to Chipotle when we want to pretend we have even a single modicum of class, and we go to Taco Bell when we’re ready to accept that we don’t.

Either way, we can’t wait to see how this develops. Hopefully the Wicker Park location will make enough money (and oh, it will) that the concept will spread nationwide. In our perfect future fast-food utopia, we’ll be able to drink Baileys-spiked Shamrock Shakes and enjoy our In-N-Out Double Double with a double shot of neat whiskey.

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