Thanksgiving might be lovingly referred to as “Turkey Day” on the reg, but we’re kinda thinking this year we might be subbing out the gobbler. Don’t surf and turf or some cute little Cornish game hens sound like a lovely holiday main course? We’re pretty much down for anything — except that usual big bird.
You might be wondering why we seem so adamantly anti-turkey right now, and, quite frankly, it’s because we’re afraid. Very, very afraid. We searched out some Thanksgiving fails, and it turns out there are nothing short of 1,000,001 things that can go terribly wrong when you’re preparing a Thanksgiving turkey. We’ve got enough things to worry about right now as we’re getting ready to host on Thursday. We don’t need visions of burned turkeys and massive clouds of billowing black smoke dancing in our heads.
Seriously, these will make you rethink your Thanksgiving menu plan. On the other hand, they also kinda make us feel good about what goes down in our own kitchens.
Originally published November 2015. Updated November 2017.
Turkey down
That awkward moment when Dad has too much wine before dinner and drops the turkey…
The squawking dead
Seasoned cooks know that it’s all too easy to burn the bird.
All trussed up and nowhere to go
This charred turkey got tied up for a little longer than anticipated.
You’re fired
Next year, I think someone else should be in charge of the turkey.
Leathery lounger
This turkey didn’t feel like coming out of the oven until it had that bronzed leather look.
Black beauty
Who knows? Maybe a juicy turkey still lurks beneath this charred skin.
All torn up
This turkey got all torn up on its way out of the pan.
Guerrilla turkey
Sometimes you have to resort to drastic methods to keep your turkey from being a complete fail.
Fried turkey
There’s a reason cooking timers were invented, people.
Burned outta shape
Before you reveal your masterpiece to the family, it’s always good to take a look yourself.
Roadkill
This turkey didn’t make its way out of the pan in one piece.
Hot-hot-hot
Sometimes an oven that runs hot can turn your bird into a charred, dry mess.
Extra crispy
You can just tell people you cooked it this long because you like the skin to be extra crispy.
Topsy-turvy turkey
This first-time Thanksgiving chef had her world turned upside down by this turkey.
Midnight snack
Nothing’s worse than the turkey taking way longer to cook than it’s supposed to… while simultaneously burning.
A whale of a time
This shiny black bird looks more like an orca than a turkey.
Go see a shrink
Seeing a turkey shrink like this would be enough to send anyone running to their therapist.
Barbecued beyond belief
Grilling the turkey seemed like a good idea… until no one wanted to brave the cold to check on it.
The forgotten bird
When deep-frying your bird, don’t forget about it and wind up with just two surviving breasts.
Run for your life
Hey, guys — is it Thanksgiving or the Apocalypse?
Random bag of grossness
Yeah, you’ve kinda got to remove those giblets before you roast your bird.
He’s toast
Poor little guy got left in the smoker a scoche too long.
Perky bird
Can it be considered a fail if it’s totally hilarious?
Hold up, that’s not a turkey
Oh my God — they cooked Kermit!
Lost turkey
We don’t know whether to laugh or cry about this one.
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