How to get over your ex

Breaking up really is hard to do. If you’ve just split from the man you hoped would be the love of your life, you’re feeling down. Take a deep breath, and remember that you can write this next chapter with a happier ending. Take some tips to help get over your ex so that you can get on with the rest of your life.

wallow, with a limit

It’s ok to feel sorry for yourself and to be sad at the ending of a relationship. You’re allowed to cry and wallow in the grief of the break-up, but know when to say when. Your relationship was a big part of your life, but it shouldn’t have been your whole life. Give yourself some time to mourn, and then be firm – stop dwelling on it. Keep busy, see friends, pamper yourself and let go of the endless cycle of “what-ifs” about the lost relationship.

Don’t call him. Don’t email. Don’t text him. Once you break up, it’s time to move forward and you’ll never be able to do it if you are still attempting to keep in touch.

spring clean

Whatever time of year it is, it’s time to clean house. Box up any of his belongings and get them out of your space. Don’t keep a memento to remember him by – return it all. And better yet, don’t return the items yourself. Arrange to have them delivered to him.

Now that your home is an ex-free zone, revamp it. Make changes you like, and especially in your bedroom. A new furniture arrangement, bright new bed linens, a different “girly” paint color will signal a fresh new start for you.

AVOID

Don’t run into him. It’s tempting to want to “bump into” your ex – and easy if you go to his favorite hangouts. Don’t do it. This is a “be careful what you wish for” situation. You may end up seeing him – already with someone new, or he may simply ignore you. It will be hurtful and embarassing, so don’t put yourself in an uncomfortable position.

Hang out with your girlfriends, pamper yourself at a spa, take an adult education class just for fun, and work at your job with extra vigor. Get out there and meet new people. The pain will fade away, and it will be exciting when you realize that you’re moving on.