Is Your Partner, Ahem, Lacking When it Comes to Oral? Let Us Lead the Way

4. Try the reverse hug technique

This shouldn’t be too hard if you’re in good shape. You’ll need to hold her upside down in front of you. Her head and shoulders should rest on the bed, and her back should rest against your chest and stomach. Hold her up a bit so that she won’t feel too much pressure around her neck. Just wrap your arms around her stomach and lower your face between her legs.

If things are stalling, Garrison advises flipping the script to keep communication free and easy. “It is very important to speak in ‘I’ statements, instead of statements that begin or include the word ‘you,'” she says. “With an ‘I’ statement, we know exactly what the individual wants. ‘I love to have my clitoris sucked like a peppermint stick,’ as opposed to, ‘you don’t do it right.’ Or, ‘you need to suck my clitoris like a peppermint stick.’ Those imply judgment, dissatisfaction, or critique of technique.”

5. Try the doggy greet technique

This technique involves a combination of oral sex and doggy-style. While in the doggy-style position, pull out of her when she is close to having an orgasm. Then, you hurry and lower your head towards her clit and use your tongue until she has orgasm. Once she has the orgasm, enter her again. Basically, you go back and forth between using your tongue and penis. If done right, she should have multiple orgasms!

More: 6 Positions That Make Anal Sex Easier & Less Intimidating

Since doggy offers a better view than most oral sex positions, embarrassment is a possibility. To maximize enjoyment in more “compromising” positions, sexologist Megan Stubbs recommends relaxing and throwing modesty out the window, “Don’t be self-conscious about the way your vulva may look. Vulvas come in all sorts of colors, shapes and sizes, so don’t use pornography as your benchmark as what is ‘normal.'”

6. Another fun oral position to try is “under the sink”

She stands right next to the side of the bed and squats down a little. There should just be enough room for you to lay on your back on the bed and place your head between her legs. She is mostly in control of her own pleasure. She can squat further, tilt, lean back, etc. This position is pretty easy for you both to do. She just needs to give you enough room so that you don’t strain your neck.

And speaking of sink, this woman-on-top position translates perfectly from the bedroom to the bath — try it when taking a shower, as long as you have a firm surface to hold on to. Cunnilingus in the shower has an added advantage, Garrison explains, “Some men have myths about the smell, taste and sensation of going down on a woman. One of the ways to handle this is to engage in oral sex in the shower. So don’t throw the possibility of oral sex out with the bathwater.”

Originally published December 2011. Updated August 2017.