Love is a many splendored thing. It can also be hilarious. See what some of Twitter‘s finest had to say about dating and relationships this week.
1. Kelly Oxford
https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/statuses/481497873461161987
Truly I bet many marriages would be saved if we could collectively cut it out with things having to be printed at all. I’ve never met a printer that didn’t totally mess with my sanity.
2. Mindy Kaling
https://twitter.com/mindykaling/statuses/477281177670139905
OK this is actually a really great question. On the one hand, if she’s a saint, you’re toast because who wants to try and live up to someone who never made mistakes? But then if she’s a psycho, you can know that you’re measuring up nicely, but then there’s the elephant in the room of the guy you’re with loved a psycho.
3. Ali Waller
Honestly, my favorite thing about being in a relationship is, it doubles the number of people in the house who can get me a snack.
— ali waller (@imaliwaller) June 25, 2014
Because true companionship always comes down to snacking compatibility. I dated a non-snacker once and it was really hard on me. And yes I use past tense because… Cheetos.
4. Lesley Arfin
Love is… "Will you watch me sing and dance for a few hours?" "YES."
— lesleyarfin (@lesleyarfin) April 23, 2014
Or even better love is… “Will you dance and sing with me for a few hours?” “Yes, I’ll get the Best of Backstreet Boys album.” Or something.
5. Ronan Farrow
https://twitter.com/RonanFarrow/statuses/471062038299410432
Better than all of my relationships: Gone in 60 Seconds or Must Love Dogs.
6. Megan Amram
fave dating site = Ouija board
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 15, 2014
I think I might be with her at this point. That and/or a magic 8 ball might be the most effective.
7. Ben Schwartz
https://twitter.com/rejectedjokes/statuses/377967432532361216
Funny because it’s true. Sad because it’s true. True because it’s true.
8. Molly McNearney
Oh silly straight man, I don't care what you think about my outfit. I'm wearing it for your wife and my gay friend Todd.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) May 24, 2013
Truth: The hardest thing about getting dressed for a date as a heterosexual female is remembering that the only person who is paying attention is a straight guy.
9. Modern Seinfeld
Jerry's gf dumps him for not wishing her happy bday on Facebook. J:"I said it to her face!" E:"But her friends can't see that &get jealous."
— Modern Seinfeld (@SeinfeldToday) May 14, 2014
This account is simply genius, and this tweet says so much about dating and technology that I can’t stop reading it.
10. Lauren Caltagirone
I told my boyfriend I've been planning our wedding for years. He told me "I've never seen you before in my life. Get off my bike."
— lauren caltagirone (@MrsRupertPupkin) February 24, 2014
Takeaway: If you don’t have a real boyfriend, an imaginary one will work… until it doesn’t.
More on dating
Fact or fiction? Casual sex is good for you
“Hey Girl” memes inspired by hot mug shot guy
How women really feel about hooking up
Leave a Comment