Miley Cyrus has some shockingly good dating advice

The harder you push, the more resistance you’ll get. Nicely done, Miley. Truly and honestly.

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tMiley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball was a huge hit. But it also had some solid advice when it came to dating and relationships. In fact, the struggles that she talks about in the song are common mistakes that, as a dating coach, I see both men and women make.

t Her moment of clarity is what is actually quite profound. Here are the lyrics, then I will break down what seems to be the meaning…

t “I came in like a wrecking ball”

t “all I wanted was to break your walls.”

t “all you ever did was wreck me”

t “I just wanted you to let me in, and instead of using force, I guess I should have let you in.”

t Translation: The harder I tried to break you, the more you pushed back and fortified your resolve against my force. I exhausted myself by slamming up against an impenetrable wall.

t You don’t have to “break” down someone’s walls. In fact, that’s hard to do. People are hired to do that; they are called interrogators. If you want to be let in, you have to release your walls first. Use your strength on yourself, to reveal your vulnerability. And suddenly it’s easy to get him to open up as he lets his walls come crumbling down.

t Break his walls by pulling yours down first and being vulnerable. The harder you push, the more resistance you’ll get. Nicely done, Miley. Truly and honestly.

t Photo credit: Frazer Harrison/Staff/Getty Images