Deciding to move in together is a big step for any couple — and for some, it can carry extra weight if done before marriage. Ensure you make the right choice by considering these pros and cons.
Pro: Time to work out the kinks
If you’ve decided to take the next step and move in together, chances are you feel pretty confident in your relationship. But no matter how well you think you know your guy, there is no doubt you will find out plenty more about him once you’re living under the same roof. Things like his tendency to let the dishes pile up or the toilet bowl to remain unseemly grimy will finally come to light. This isn’t to say that these issues are make-or-break in a relationship — they are simply conflicts that need to be addressed. And being able to deal with them before marriage can be helpful. Once you’re married, there will be plenty of disputes over what your mother-in-law said last week or where to spend Christmas, so getting the little things out of the way earlier can aid in making the relationship run more smoothly.
Con: A less exciting move
The process of moving in with your guy is sure to be exciting. But it’s extra exciting when it involves bringing thousands of dollars worth of wedding gifts into a new place. Between engagement parties, bridal showers and the wedding itself, the two of you will wind up with more household appliances and decorations than you know what to do with. And moving into a new place with all those new items is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. If you move in together before marriage, you will certainly be overjoyed at living in the same space, but you’ll simply be merging all your old stuff together.
Pro: It’s practical
If you live in the same city and you’re at that stage in your relationship where you spend virtually every night together at one or the other of your places, then moving in together might be the right choice financially. Pooling your funds for one exceptional home might be a far more savvy option than living separately.
Con: It might offend some people
Many cultures and generations place a stigma on living together before marriage. So, choosing to do so may very well have some family and friends raising their eyebrows at you. Ultimately, though, everyone is entitled to their own opinions — and if you feel good about your decision, that’s what really matters.
Making the right decision
There is no true right or wrong answer when it comes to deciding whether you and your man should live together before marriage or not. All you can do is assess your relationship, determine where you stand and proceed accordingly. When it comes down to it, it’s about the two of you, so make the decision that is right for you.
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