When you’re new to Tinder, it’s easy to imagine that the site is pretty straightforward.
Picture? Check. Cute little tagline? Check. Swipe left 50 times for every swipe right? Check and check. Within a few days, though, you’ll start wondering which strange galaxy you’ve fallen into. It’s like sitting in an emergency department waiting room.
Here’s the thing: Tinder is far more science than art, and you’ll pretty quickly realize that there is a science to the creepy Tinder male profile. Avoid at all costs if you see a man sporting the following profile characteristics.
1. Overdoing it with the Halloween pictures
Image: TinderCreeps.com
We’ll give a pass to one Halloween picture. One. Any more than that, though, and the dude is looking less quirky-cute and more into fetishes.
2. Slightly parted lips and big hair
Image: TinderCreeps.com
Any guy who thinks this is a good look has clearly spent too much time studying Justin Bieber. You’re not a Calvin Klein model. Go home. We’re not looking for the Biebs.
3. Bad nudity
Image: People On Tinder
What is behind that gnome? Drats, it’s probably just more body hair.
Seriously, Tinder nudity is always a bad thing, especially if the guy has cropped out his face from the image.
4. Trying too hard
Image: The Tinder Files
This guy says that the “key to staying young is to never grow up.” We’re guessing that his other, unmentioned key to staying young is dating 18-year-olds.
5. A couple’s profile
Image: People On Tinder
Either JimnKatherine don’t know how to Tinder, or they’re spicing up their love life with a little swinging. Couple’s profiles are a huge red flag — unless that’s exactly what you’re looking for!
6. Shirtless selfies
Image: The Tinder Files
Is this guy looking to meet new people in a hotel? Is that why he’s taking his shirtless selfie in what is clearly a hotel lobby bathroom? We don’t understand the shirtless selfie, and we don’t understand the angry face.
7. Blood or weapons or both
Image: TinderCreeps.com
Favorite hobby? Murder.
8. Any version of this guy
Image: TinderCreeps.com
Let’s give 22-year-old Dominic the benefit of the doubt, and assume he’s trying to be funny. Even if he is, though, a guy who opens his profile with how awesome he is and how you should be privileged to respond to his text is extremely questionable.
If a Tinder guy passes the creepy Tinder profile test, go ahead and text away — at least until he blows it with a creepy message.
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