Though we’re not sure who uttered the original bad pickup line (my bets are on Julius Caesar to Cleopatra), we’re pretty sure they’ve been a thing since the beginning of time. Somehow, along the way, they have also become one of the most entertaining parts of the internet. These days, dating apps do most of the work for you by coming up with prompts and conversation starters, which makes it even more fun to enjoy a relic of the past: the classic, in-person, cheesy pickup line.
How do you craft a line full of puns, a cheeky comment about their drink, or a few nonspecific compliments that are cheesy enough that the other person might assume there’s some depth underneath your one-liner? We’re not sure, but people manage to do it. What we really want to know is: Have any of these ever worked? While our instinct is to say no, there is something slightly sweet and earnest about a cheesy pick-up line. That is, as long as it’s said with the right attitude, meaning: a little silly and sheepish, but actually just looking for a way to strike up a genuine conversation. It’s all about the rizz. If, on the other hand, their tone gets sleazy (or way too sexual)? Thank you, next.
If nothing else, we hope these pickup lines are something comical to share with your group chat on a Tuesday afternoon. You have to promise never to use them unironically, though. Keep reading for our favorite cheesy pickup lines that are so bad, they’re almost good.
- “You dropped something… my jaw.”
- “Hey, you owe me a drink! Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.”
- “Something must be wrong with my phone… it doesn’t have your number in it.”
- “You look so familiar. Didn’t we take a class together in college? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.”
- “Can I get a pic of you? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas.”
- “Was your mother a beaver? ‘Cause damn!”
- “It’s handy that I have my library card because I’m totally checking you out.”
- “Did you just fart? Because you blow me away!”
- “Hey, girl. Are you German? ‘Cause I wanna be Ger-man!”
- “Are those space pants? Because your ass is outta this world!”
- “Do you have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.”
- “Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel.”
- “If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.”
- “I’ve lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?”
- “Hey, baby. Want a raisin? Sorry, none left. How about a date then?”
- “My doctor told me I’m missing vitamin U. Can you help me with that?”
- “Go on; feel my jacket. It’s made of boyfriend material.”
- “Hey, girl. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I think we have a connection.”
- “I have good news for you, baby: You’ve been chosen as the next contestant in the game of love.”
- “OK, I’m here. What do you want for your next wish?”
- “Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He’d like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get ahold of me in the morning.”
- “You seem like the kinda girl who’s heard every line in the book. So what’s one more?”
- “Excuse me. I think you have something in your eye. Nope; it’s just a sparkle.”
- “Remember me? Oh, that’s right, we’ve only met in my dreams.”
- “I have 4 percent battery remaining and I chose to message you. Did I choose wisely?”
- “Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again?”
- “If you were a booger, I’d pick you.”
- “Are you a campfire? Cause you’re hot and I want s’more.”
- “Are you my appendix? Because I don’t know what you do or how you work, but I feel like I should take you out.”
- “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.”
- “I can’t believe this, but I’ve somehow lost my phone number. Can I have yours instead?
- “I’m no photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.”
- “Let’s rearrange the alphabet to put U and I together.”
- “I’m learning about the most important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?”
- “Good thing I just bought life insurance, because when I saw you just now, I’m pretty sure my heart stopped.”
- “Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it right back.”
- “You must be a hitman/hitwoman, because I can tell you wanna take me out.”
- “My Spotify must be broken, because I don’t see you in the hottest singles playlist.”
- “Are you a Boy Scout? Because you’re tying my heart in knots right now.”
- “I hope you have a parachute, because I’m falling hard for you.”
A version of this story was originally published in February 2015.
Before you go, add these steamy movies to your watch list:
Leave a Comment