You have hormonal issues.
While we usually associate testosterone with men, healthy women have more testosterone flowing through their blood than they have oestrogen, says Melbourne professor and endocrinologist Dr. Sue Davis. Once a woman hits 40, she has half the testosterone she had at 20. A lack of testosterone can be one of the causes of low libido.
No form of testosterone therapy for women is officially approved in Australia, but it is available in certain specialist clinics and private practices. Consult your general practitioner for more information.
You’re fighting with your partner.
In addition to the stress fighting brings, a disconnect with your partner can mean less time in the bedroom. Unlike men, women often need to connect emotionally with their men to get in the mood. Also, if you’re constantly arguing over money, the kids or his lack of cleaning up, you’ll have less energy for a shag.
Talking through your difficulties is key, but also try relaxing with a soothing CD or warm bath. Getting yourself in a calm place initially will make you less likely to explode at your partner and may help to boost a low libido.
You don’t know what turns you on.
This may be a surprising one, but health and sex experts say not knowing what you want or like in lust can drop your libido to zero. When we first start dating someone, the excitement from the novelty can make us want to get starkers all the time. But as the initial spark fades, if you don’t know what gets you off, the shagging might not be satisfying.
Take time to touch yourself to see what parts of your body respond most intensely, and communicate with your partner about the positions and foreplay you like and the fantasies you have. If there’s still a disconnect, consider individual or couples’ counselling.
More sex advice
Health benefits of sex
Major sex don’ts
Spice up your sex life
Here’s how to put the spark back into your relationship.
Leave a Comment