We sometimes do things we’re not proud of, but that doesn’t mean we deserve to have the entire world shame us for it. That is part of the message Alexis Frulling from Calgary, Canada, doled out in response to the people who called her a slut for being in a threesome.
The other part involved her claiming her right to be a sexual being, despite the fact that she’s a woman. And biting off the end of a cucumber for emphasis. The reason she felt the need to make this empowering video is because she engaged in a threesome with two friends that was filmed without her permission and put up on Reddit. While that alone was frustrating, what really pushed her over the edge was the flood of negative responses the video received which were mainly directed at her.
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“We meant for this to be just between us and our friend group, but it all backfired,” she told Vice. Frulling and her two guy friends decided to have the spur of the moment threesome in a back alley, but didn’t realize someone was shooting the scene from a balcony. That person later put the video up on Reddit, and it immediately went viral. The police are trying to find the perpetrator — posting such salacious videos without the consent of the people in it is illegal in Canada — but so far to no avail.
While the other two thirds of the threesome have received little to no negative attention, the Internet trolls sank their proverbial teeth into Frulling. Sadly, we still live in a society that shuns women for displaying their sexuality, but lets men entirely off the hook. They’re just being guys after all, right? However, Frulling wasn’t going to take the criticism lying down. She decided not only to create a YouTube video, but an entire channel dedicated to reclaiming her power. She now has almost 9,000 subscribers, and the video where she addresses the incident directly has over 1.5 million hits.
I personally love how blasé she is about the whole thing. She totally owns the whole situation, and puts down the trolls with a knowing smile, and a simple “haters gonna hate”. Honestly, if this girl doesn’t get to host her own show at some point, the Internet isn’t doing it’s job.
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This country of ours just loves to call out women for being sexual, whether it be through revenge porn, or other various forms of cyber bulling and slut-shaming. Actions like these echo back to over 200 years ago when women were made to stand trial for witchcraft, which was essentially the threesome of its time. It is a mystery to me why this country still puts so much onus on women to be good, but lets men get away with practically anything. We’ve definitely come much closer to gender equality, especially in the last two decades, but obviously, we still have a long way to go.
Thankfully, there are women like Frulling who refuse to let the world of misogynists speak for them. While it’s a shame they have to take to public platforms to be heard, their stories will hopefully help diminish the sexual stigma that still surrounds women today. As Frulling puts it, “A lot of other girls are scared to stand up for themselves and say, ‘Fuck that double standard'[…] We’re all human and make our own decisions.”
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