Michelle Duggar’s blog is filled with advice for newlyweds, as well as couples who have been married for many years. While it’s not often relevant to the world at large, it’s rarely as irksome as her most recent post.
Momma Duggar from the show 19 Kids and Counting decided to impart three helpful hints that she believes are integral parts of a wife’s duties when it comes to her husband and maintaining a healthy marriage. Two weren’t terribly shocking — one was to get outside marriage advice when you feel you need it, and another was to talk out marital disagreements privately, at least at first. However the third tidbit was downright offensive to any freethinking woman living in the 21st century.
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Simply put, she said that wives should make themselves sexually available to their husbands all the time, day or night, no matter how they themselves are feeling. They shouldn’t just be available, they should be “joyfully available,” even if they’re exhausted, covered in throw up, pregnant or bleeding from the head. Okay, I added that last one, but you get the idea.
Saying the advice was imparted to her by a friend right before she got married, she writes, “Anyone can iron Jim Bob’s shirt, anybody can make lunch for him. He can get his lunch somewhere else. But you are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy. You’re it. You’re the only one.” Obviously, her friend was not aware of the extra-marital dating site, Ashley Madison.
As someone who’s getting married in less than a year, I am so put off by this. Yes, men often have higher sexual appetites than women, but does that mean we need to cater to them 24/7? NO. Even if a wife is not the financial provider for the family, she does a comparable amount to keep her family afloat, which means she deserves to have her needs met just as much as he does. And sometimes those needs are falling asleep to Dancing With The Stars at 9 p.m. on a Tuesday without being entered by her husband.
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The most cringe-worthy part was how complacent and obliging Michelle thinks women should be. She writes, “Smile and be willing to say, ‘Yes, sweetie, I am here for you,’ no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. ‘I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you.'”
Michelle says her husband “will sit there and listen to everything I need to tell him because he knows that I’m there for him, too. I’m meeting his needs, he’s meeting my needs.” You know, I didn’t realize all women needed was conversation, and all men needed was sex. Thanks for clearing that up, Michelle!
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While the Duggar show may have been cancelled, it’s safe to say this infamous family is definitely not going quietly into that reality TV-less night.
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