Remember when you found out what sex was and were a little ummm… shocked? Well, get ready to re-experience that same feeling when you find out these freaky fornication facts.
Turns out that beyond the birds and the bees lies a whole world of “OMG, that’s actually possible?” moments that can happen in bed. Read at your own risk because you may never think about certain boudoir behaviors the same way again!
1. You can get lockjaw during a BJ
You’ve probably heard the line that they call it a blow job because it’s so much work, right? Well, it turns out that’s no joke since a side effect of a little too much oral action can turn into what might be termed temporary TMJ syndrome. “Lockjaw is a common side effect of chowing down for too long,” says Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D., author of Kiss Your Fights Goodbye. “Sometimes your jaw can give out just before the point of no return!” Turndorf’s advice? “Take two, and switch off to hand work… and, no, I don’t mean needlepoint!”
2. His swimmers can travel at 28 mph
You know when a guy says he’s going to “shoot his load.” Well, he might not be far off because apparently in that first moment of ejaculation, a man’s sperm can literally travel at speeds faster than the world record for the 100-meter dash (which is currently around 23 miles per hour). Yes, that means sperm are literally off and sprinting on their way to try and find an egg to fertilize.
“The obvious answer to Mr. Speedy (the ejaculate) is Darwinian, the survival of the species (us),” says Joel D. Block, Ph.D., a couples’ and sex therapist on Long Island in New York and co-author of Sex Comes First: 15 Ways to Save Your Relationship Without Leaving Your Bedroom. “Sperm is on a mission. The mission takes some velocity because it involves a difficult course. It takes about five minutes to travel vaginally to reach the cervix — a distance of about six inches — and up to 72 hours to reach an egg. Without some decent velocity it could take, like never. The life of the sperm would expire before hitting the target and our species would start disappearing.”
Bottom line, when he’s getting ready to blow, you might want to brace yourselves.
3. You might not be able to breathe… literally
During sex lots of things swell. And that includes the inside of your nose. Say what? “Honeymoon rhinitis” is a condition in which the sufferer experiences nasal congestion during intercourse. Turns out that the lining of your nose is made of the same erectile material as the genitals and when you’re aroused it may also get engorged making it harder for you to breathe. According to Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist for Good Vibrations, this is most likely due to the increased flow of blood while having sex. A few well-timed nasal drops may help the situation… because trying to kiss when your nose is plugged is no fun!
4. Your lady bits will shrink as you head toward a Big O
So while some things are growing during sex, other things are actually shrinking and that includes your vagina. As an orgasm becomes imminent in a woman, the vagina decreases in size by as much as 30 percent. This contraction is most likely to help increase the sensitivity felt by the woman as she climaxes.
“Just before orgasm, during the plateau phase of arousal, the tissues of the outer third of the vagina swell, and the pubococcygeus muscle tightens… so, it is true that the diameter of the opening of the v-jay reduces,” says Dr. Turndorf. “But on the flip side, the upper end of the vagina balloons like a reservoir in order to get ready for the sperm that’s coming its way.”
5. You could have a fatal reaction to sperm
While it’s fairly uncommon, it is possible for some women to actually be allergic to their partner’s semen. Symptoms are local (itching, swelling) or whole-body (hives or worse). According to Dr. Queen, it is generally a protein allergy, much like the kind people might develop to eggs; it can be moderate to severe, reactive to all semen or just one partner’s.
The treatment? Well, if you start having severe symptoms, you might actually need to carry an epinephrine pen on dates. Can you imagine? “Sure, we can have sex but you might have to stick me with this pen after you stick me with well, other things.” Ha! Or it can be treated like other allergies where you are routinely exposed to small doses of the offending object (i.e., you have to have more sex… how horrible). In all seriousness, however, if you do find yourself experiencing such symptoms after sex, Dr. Queen suggests you see an allergist to come up with your own personal treatment plan because semen allergies can get worse and may actually be deadly in some cases.
6. Once you hit the Big O, anything can happen
“Oh, oh, oh, oh… oh hang on, I just remembered something I wanted to email to my boss at work tomorrow.” Yeah right, good luck with that. Turns out that once you’re headed towards orgasm, there is no stopping what comes next. “Once an orgasm is underway, it’s like a runaway sexual freight train that can’t be stopped,” says Dr. Turndorf. Orgasms, along with sneezes, cannot be voluntarily halted once they have started because they are physiological responses to an event. In other words, might as well get it O-ver with before trying to do anything or ahem… anyone else.
7. You really might go blind from too much pleasure
Were you ever warned as a child that too much masturbation would make you go blind? Well, now there seems to be some validity to that old wives’ tale! According to Dr. Block, there is a condition called “Sex Blindness.” The basic physiological reason for this boils down to blood flow. When someone is orgasming, they experience vasoconstriction, which is the narrowing of the walls of the blood vessels and that can restrict blood flow to the eyes. But don’t worry, this is a temporary condition and your sight will return once your body normalizes again. Interestingly this blood-flow restriction can also make some people go temporarily “deaf” after an orgasm.
What a way to end up deaf, dumb and blind, huh? That being said, while we can explain the deaf and blind parts, it’s all up to you to choose your bedmate wisely.
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