Oral sex should be an integral part of any healthy sexual relationship, and that means giving and getting. But even if your guy is down to go down, he may not have much prowess in the task at hand.
What follows is often not so fun for anyone. Either you say nothing about his lack of oral skills, and it simply remains a mediocre accent of your sex life, or you try to give notes, and your guy gets super defensive. The unfortunate truth is it’s a sensitive area (pun intended), and thus many couples never address it.
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It seems most women are afraid that if they point out their man’s oral inadequacy, he’ll develop a complex and, as a result, take fewer and fewer trips south. And as far as the men who rarely if ever go down on their ladies, their refusal likely stems from fear of doing it wrong. However, according to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, these abstainers are in the minority in this day and age. Most men claim they enjoy going down on their ladies; they just might not be the best at it.
So how do we fix these problems? Why, with a hilarious video involving porn stars, of course! The clever folks over at Simple Pickup decided it was time to give guys what they really need — an oral sex tutorial. And what better way to get a guy to actually sit down and watch a how-to video than to have it led by hot women who are most experienced in all things sex?
Enter the beautiful and talented Dana DeArmond, Anikka Albrite, Skin Diamond and Penny Pax! These lovely ladies showed a group of eager-to-learn dudes exactly how to master the art of cunnilingus. However, since this tutorial was for YouTube and not a porn channel, they used the next best thing on which to demonstrate — oysters. That said, the video is pretty suggestive and graphic, so it’s probably NSFW, unless of course you work in porn.
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Now wasn’t that just a wonderful compilation of hilarious, sexy and just plain gross? See, conversations and lessons in sex don’t have to be awkward as long as you keep an open mind and realize future sex will be so much better because of them.
You have to give these porn stars props for working with oysters, because while they might look a little like vaginas, they are far from the real thing. The women were also far from perfect in their techniques (consider the equipment they had to work with) and thus were just as surprised and weirded out as the guys were. It was really an exciting new endeavor for everyone involved.
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I have to do a quick rundown of my favorite moments, because there were just so many: the guy who got one mutant giant oyster and called it “the Oprah Winfrey”; when Ms. DeArmond said, “This is the worst thing I’ve ever been asked to do on camera”; and every time someone almost choked on an oyster (and there were many).
So in the end, here’s what we learned: Long, slow licks are good; don’t stop if she says “don’t stop”; surprise her; make eye contact; try swirling your tongue; and for heaven’s sake, don’t choke.
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