?
Give love laugh
By Jaime
May 21, 2010
When someone we love or care about is going through cancer treatment, it’s natural to want to send something to let them know we’re thinking of them. One of my housemates wondered aloud the other day whether she should get something for the mom of a good friend, whom she’s known for years, who is starting chemotherapy for lung cancer. I assured her that her friend’s mom would appreciate anything, just to know that someone was thinking of her. Although we all have good intentions when we send someone a gift, there are a few things to keep in mind about the unique situation of someone going through chemotherapy.
Sending flowers might seem nice, but fresh flowers and plants can have mold in them, which can be toxic to someone with a compromised immune system due to chemotherapy. Fruit baskets are the same way – sending a mix of fresh fruit appears to be a healthy gift, but germs, chemicals and molds can be on the skins, and if not completely washed, this can be dangerous for someone going through chemo.
There are many websites that have cancer-themed gifts or even non-cancer themed gifts that help pamper someone, especially at a time when pampering may be necessary. Sites like Choose Hope and The Pampered Patient have thoughtful gifts like body lotion, Queasy Pops, candies, inspirational and humorous books, funny t-shirts and buttons. When giving lotion, make sure the patient can use lotions since some surgeries or radiation may cause irritation and infection. Gifts for caregivers are also available on these sites, which can be a nice gesture.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to let someone know you are thinking about them. Calling someone and leaving a message on their machine just telling them you love them, or getting permission to come over and clean up their house for them, dropping off meals or taking their kids for an afternoon are all gestures sure to be appreciated. Sometimes patients feel awkward about asking for help, so even saying to them, “Can I take your kids on Saturday?” might alleviate any feelings of awkwardness. Asking their partner or spouse if you can come over and clean while they’re at chemo can be a nice surprise when they come home. Sending emails or cards and letters can brighten a long day of treatment. Many people send cards after the initial diagnosis, but not everyone keeps sending notes or cards on a consistent basis. After the 5th or 6th chemo treatment, it can be a nice surprise to come home to a funny card, or heartfelt letter.
Overall, when in doubt, ask the person if they’ve been told if there’s anything they should avoid, or ask their partner if they know of any precautions or warnings you should be aware of when sending anything. More than anything, your thoughtfulness, kindness and love will be what is remembered most, not what you end up sending.
Have a thought to share with our bloggers?
Leave a comment below!
Previous entry: Trusting your instincts
Leave a Comment