You’re disturbed at the news your friend just gave you: That couple who’s been together 20 years is splitting up! And they seemed so happy together. You watch the evening news and see the same scenario again: Another couple who seemed like a match made in heaven is getting an “amicable divorce.” You and your husband get along great. You enjoy each other’s company, and your intimate life is thriving. Yet you can’t help but wonder: Are you next in line for a divorce?
Our bookshelves and the media are filled with articles on failing marriages, but few focus on preserving a happy marriage. We assume that once happy means always happy — but the time to panic is when “happy” is taken for granted. Rather than panic, take the following three easy steps:
Acknowledge your man for his wonderfulness.
Acknowledge your life together for the joy that it is. Be open with your praise and gratitude, through both word and touch. Let him know, often and warmly, how much you value all he is and does. Be generous with your smiles and hugs.
Walk your talk.
You can’t tell him what a wonderful guy he is in one breath, and whine about how he never takes you out anymore in the next. What you can do is tell him how much you enjoy exploring new experiences with him. For example, ask if he’s heard about that new ethnic restaurant in town, and tell him how much you would love to discover it with him.
Spread the good word.
Too often, we regale our friends and family with the bloopers our mates have made. Telling how your husband forgot to turn off the water before fixing the plumbing and how drowned-rat-funny he looked as he tried to get out of the way of the spray may make easy entertainment fodder, but it does absolutely nothing for the love in your life. Instead, remark how cool it was that your beloved gave up his Sunday game to dive under the sink.
Love your guy? Make sure he knows it! Find out how to celebrate your relationship >>
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