Work deadlines, soccer practice, baking cupcakes, doing laundry…where’s the time for sex? If you find yourself too tired or too busy to have sex, it’s time to schedule it!
If you and your partner both feel you aren’t having sex enough, it’s time to put it on your schedule. Scheduling sex won’t make it boring—in fact, it can rejuvenate your sex life and your relationship.
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Talk it out
Talk to your partner honestly about sex. If you are having sex twice a month and would rather be having it three times a week, let them know. Discuss what has been working right for you and what needs to be fixed. You both need to be honest and get on the same page for a sex schedule to work.
Pull out your calendars
Whether you keep your appointments in your iPhone or a little black book, you need to mark down your sex schedule. Sit down at the beginning of each month and plan your sex times for the entire month.
Be realistic
Consider all your other commitments, including your children’s schedules to determine some realistic times that will work. You want to find dates and times that won’t likely be canceled.
Consider morning sex
If you fall asleep as soon as you hit the pillow at night, consider setting the alarm for some morning sex. It’s a fantastic way to get your day off to a good start. It’s not that difficult to wake up 30 minutes early for a quickie before work.
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Enjoy date night
Not all sex appointments should be quick. At least once a month, you should have date night (or day) out with your spouse or partner. You don’t have to go anywhere fancy, but you should go out. From a day of hiking to an evening concert, you have plenty of choices for date activities. Spending time together doing something you enjoy can lead to more romantic (and sexual) activity at home.
Find out more about planning a date night for busy parents >>
Set a fantasy appointment
Many couples are uncomfortable acting out their sexual fantasies. If your problem isn’t with how often you are having sex, but rather that the sex has become routine, spice things up with a fantasy appointment. Twice a month, put a fantasy appointment on your sex schedule. One fantasy appointment per month will be his and one will be hers. Each person should write down a list of their sexual fantasies that they’d like to act out with their partner. The night before your sexual fantasy appointment, let your partner know which fantasy you would like to act out the next night. The anticipation of the fantasy appointment will make things all the better.
Read more about how to feel comfortable acting out your bedroom fantasies >>
De-stress
For most men, sex is a way to relieve stress. For women, however, they often need to get rid of the stress before getting in the mood for sex. If sex is on your schedule, do what you can to de-stress before your appointment time. Take a long bath. Drink a glass of wine. Do whatever you need to do to relax and get in the mood.
Stick to the schedule
Respect your sex schedule the same as you do any other appointment on your schedule. Sure, sometimes you will be tired, stressed or upset; however, if you view your sex appointments as commitments, you will be less likely to cancel them. If you absolutely must cancel, don’t just skip sex—reschedule! Find the next available time on your calendar and reschedule at the time of cancellation.
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