Wedding dos and don’ts in a digital era

Times are a changing… You decided to forgo expensive save-the-date-cards for your upcoming wedding and instead, you sent the notice out via email. The whole process was so easy (and not to mention free) that you began to wonder what other conventions you can adapt to in the digital age.

Hmmm… Invitations? Thank you cards? STOP! Not so fast! Even though wedding trends and etiquette are adapting rapidly thanks to the internet, there are still some things that are taboo with a capital T.

Invitations

Other than the initial save-the-date cards, most of your other wedding correspondence still needs to be sent by snail mail, especially the main invitation. Ancillary events like your rehearsal dinner or bridal shower are best to be included in the envelope, but can be sent by email without raising too many eyebrows.

Thank you notes? Handwritten please, or at least make sure it looks handwritten. There are a number of new services like Sent-Well that will handwrite your cards for you or Thankster where you can actually type your notes in your own handwriting.

Gift registry

What about that gift registry? Yes, it is OK to add a lot of nontraditional items, which we are seeing more and more at MyRegistry.com, but keep an eye on those prices! It is very important to add items in every price range, including some small items as well. Although you may have your own opinion on what the appropriate amount to spend on a wedding gift is, filling your registry with all high ticket items is a definite faux pas.

Cash funds

Hoping to receive mostly cash, but anticipate that the “Miss Manners” of the world, and perhaps even your mother–in-law, will be shocked by the concept? No problem. Try using the MyRegistry Cash Gift Fund service. It’s a very polite way to ask for cash by identifying your cash gift funds with particular gifts. You can open a honeymoon fund or a down payment on a new home fund. Perhaps there are high ticket items that you and your fiancé really want, like a piano or a piece of art. Your guests will be able to contribute in any denomination towards that gift of your choice and they will enjoy giving you the cash gift because they know what their money is being used for. However, whatever you do, do not include “cash gifts preferred” in your invitation.

Many old wedding traditions are great and should not be completely dismissed. So, when you are about to try something new for your wedding planning, take a step back and think about whether or not you are still acting in the spirit of that tradition. Technology will continue to make everything easier for us, but it will never replace that first dance, first kiss or first cake cut together as a married couple.

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