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20 Discreet & Quiet Vibrators That Won’t Wake Up the Whole House

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Discretion isn’t always a concern when it comes to buying and using a vibrator. But if you live in a house full of other people (particularly with kids who are curious and prone to touching things that aren’t theirs), it very well might be a priority to have a quiet and sneaky sex toy in your collection. Thankfully, your favorite sex toy shops are loaded with discreet vibrators that offer subtlety, silence, and satisfying sex in equal measure.

Best Discreet Sex Toys At a Glance

Best Overall:Good Vibes: Neon Vibes The Secret Vibe, $54
Best Clitoral Vibrator:Girls Get Off Missy, $129
Best Panty Vibrator:We-Vibe Moxie Panty Vibrator, $110 (was $139)
Best Solo Play Vibrator:Maude Vibe, $52
Best Wearable Discreet Vibrator:Crave Vesper Original Vibration Necklace, $69
Best Multi-Tasking Discreet Vibrator:Iroha Plus Tori, $138
Most Affordable Discreet Vibrator:Lovehoney Magic Bullet, $17
Best Quiet Vibrator:Je Joue Mimi Clitoral Vibrator, $100
Most Popular:LELO Sila, $169
Best Internal Discreet Vibrator:Maude Curved Internal Personal Massager, $79

Best Types of Sex Toys That Are Discreet

Finding time to use a vibrator is often harder than it should be. Between work, social engagements, family responsibilities and the always-growing list of shows you need to watch on Netflix, carving out a little Me Time (or even Us time with your partner) can be a serious challenge. The last thing you need is for your few, well-earned minutes of escape to be ruined by a vibrator that’s so loud it threatens to wake up the whole house or that makes you too self-conscious about the chainsaw-like sounds to actually get off.

And, of course, when we’re talking about discretion, we’re not only talking about volume—we’re also talking about toys that have a more streamlined or understated appearance. Toys that don’t attract a lot of visual attention. Toys that, well, don’t obviously look like sex toys. A quiet motor is key to keeping someone from barging in on your alone time. But you also want a go-to that you can throw in your nightstand — or toss into your suitcase — without giving it a second thought. It doesn’t matter who stumbles upon your favorite vibrator if that vibrator looks like a necklace, or tube of lip balm, or a small piece of abstract art.

“Honestly, the quietest toys are going to be marketed as quiet,” says Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert at dating app, 3Fun. “With that being said, you’re going to want to look for something smaller that has a smaller motor.” Engle explains that the smaller the motor, the quieter the toy. “You’re going to have better luck with palm, finger, and bullet vibrators. But the most quiet toys of all are clit sucking vibrators. They don’t actually use vibration the way a standard toy does. They use air and suction to surround the clitoris. These toys are basically silent, which can be a great choice,” Engle adds.

There are so many of these stealth sex toys on the market that allow you to keep your sexy business on the DL. You can absolutely find a sex toy that isn’t obviously recognizable to the untrained eye, and that doesn’t sound like a threatening swarm of bees every time you turn it on. Sex toys so smart they practically disguise themselves? We’ll take 20.

So read on for a few that pass the low-key “shhh” test or deliver on a particularly subtle aesthetic. You might find the chill, discreet vibe of your dreams.

Our mission at SheKnows is to empower and inspire women, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Good Vibes is a SheKnows sponsor, however, all products in this article were independently selected by our editors. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

A version of this story was published November 2019.

 

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