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The Internet’s most sacred rule — rule 34 — states that “if it exists, there’s porn of it. If it doesn’t exist, it will.” In a similar vein, if it exists, someone might be creative enough to make a sexual accessory inspired by it.
So if you ever thought about wanting to grind on Jon Snow’s sword, get off with a Doctor Who Villain or channel your deepest 50 Shades fantasy, you aren’t alone. In fact, there are sex toy manufacturers working tirelessly to create surprising and delightfully on-brand sex toys that riff on your favorite pop cultural moments — from your Marvel faves, your sci-fi reliables and maybe even a an anime or two. Naturally, a lot of these toys are clever parodies that flirt and wink at the movies and TV shows they’re representing. But that’s some of what we love about them.
We’ve rounded up some of our favorite toys (admittedly a lot from Geeky Sex Toys — because they are just that good at what they do!) that are pop culture inspired to hopefully inspire you to inject a bit more laughter and geekery into your toy collection.
And just in time for Star Wars Day, there’s more than a few selections for Jedi masters and those who love ’em.
But we have to warm you: There’s some absolutely painful (in a brilliant but deep-sigh-inducing way) NSFW puns ahead. So reader beware.
A version of this story was published June 2020.
Geeky Sex Toys R2-V2
A droid is a girl’s best friend. And this R2D2-inspired wand is a geeky play on a vibrator staple with three speeds and 30 patterns for lightspeed orgasms.
Laser Sword Impact Toy
An elegant weapon for a more civilized age, this Star Wars-themed impact toy (there’s a flogger too!) lets you wield your own lightsaber for some sexy impact play.
Geeky Sex Toys Space Station Ball Gag
In space, no one can hear you scream. (Just kidding!)
Check out this death star-themed BDSM accessory that can stealthily hide out as part of your generally geeky decor. Faux leather and body safe silicone makes this a worthy addition to the rest of your gear — just play responsibly!
Geeky Sex Toys Darth Vibrator
Who’s your daddy? This Darth Vader inspired wand perfectly suited for people who want to get in touch with their inner dark side.
Geeky Sex Toys Game of Moans Long Shaft
For one of the objectively most horny shows on TV (up there with Outlander), it’s unspurprising to see a Game of Thrones parody grace this list. The Long Shaft sword is no Long Claw, but it’s a wolfy play on a sword toy that offers a lot of control and a deepy reach.
Geeky Sex Toys Pokemoan Dildos
Gotta get ’em all! Sex toy collectors rejoice, you can have dildos inspired by each of the original starter pokemon thanks to Geeky Sex Toys’ Pokemoan collection. There’s Bulby, a grass type with a large seed-shaped tip; Charmy, a thin, flame-shaped dildo; Squirty, a water type with a round and smooth turtle shell appearance; and Piky, an electric-inspired anal plug. Each very cute and make for an incredibly nerdy toy box.
Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit
Another Fifty Shades… toy from their official pleasure collection, this G-spot rabbit has 2 motors and 15 settings that’ll make you say “holy crap.” You won’t roll your eyes at this one.
Geeky Sex Toys Dildoda
Give night terrors this toy will. The Dildoda is a pretty faithful (if generous) tribute to the green Jedi Master puppet whether you’re going to the Dagobah system or not.
Geeky Sex Toys Dildek
While a monomoniacal, genocidal species from a decades old science fiction show isn’t the first thing to come to mind when thinking of the ideal sex toy, the Dildek is a suction cup dildo its creators call an “emotionless robot dong was built for one reason, and one reason only: Pleasure.” Masturbate! Masturbate!
Geeky Sex Toys DickPool Bondage Kit
For bondage pros or newbies, this complete kit of restraints, ropes, a ball gag and a flogger is fit for an anti-hero. Channel Deadpool and embrace your bratty side for a night of good, clean, pre-negotiated kink.
Geeky Sex Toys Bat Plug
Nothing is a better fit for your bat cave (butt cave?) than this body safe silicone Bat Plug! Pair with your favorite toy-safe lube and let your partner see your bat signal.
Fifty Shades of Grey Panty Vibrator
If you’re out to introduce some naughty power-play into your couple’s dynamic, this official Fifty Shades of Grey panty vibe lets one partner take control. Whether you’re in a playroom or a night out, you can make exhibitionism (pre-negotiated, of course) extra satisfying.
Möan-lnir
Only the most worthy can lift this legendary dildo inspired by the God of Thunder’s own favorite toy. The orgasms coming off of this will be thunderous.
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