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Almost 30 years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman released his book The Five Languages. Ever since, personality type enthusiasts revere it alongside astrology and Meyers Briggs, letting these love languages act as a barometer of how we give and receive affection.
For the love language neophytes stopping by, Chapman theorizes that there are five primary ways we express love in relationships, summed up in a few key gestures:
Words of Affirmation: Saying affirmative phrases that make someone feel loved and secure. Things like “Did I tell you how grateful I am for you today?”, “I love how you always make me laugh”, “I’m proud of you,” and “I’m the happiest when you’re around”.
Acts of Service: Giving up your time for actions that you know your partner will appreciate, like filling up their gas, cooking a meal for them and being ready to step in when they need help.
Gifts: It’s not about materialism, it’s about tokens of love. The best gifts are ones that have thoughtfulness and effort behind them. Birthdays and holidays are an extra opportunity to show off you know what’s meaningful to your partner.
Quality Time: Time is valuable, and it’s best spent with your partner’s undivided attention, whether that looks like a conversation over coffee or watching a movie together.
Physical Touch: Hugs, kisses, caresses and all the other intimate touches that express love and capitalize on human contact.
We technically “speak” all five love languages, but one should resonate more deeply to signal your dominant love language. If you’re still unsure which language you’re partial to, this online quiz will help you narrow things down.
Now let’s get to the juicy part. Once you’ve got a handle on the love languages, check out our recommendations for the best sex toys that coordinate with each gesture. (Utter nonsense? Maybe, but you know we can’t pass up an opportunity to shop.)
We’ve got options for both solo and S.O. play to help make bedroom-physical-intimacy-time spicy, so take your pick besties.
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Words of Affirmation: Truth or Dare
Communication is everything, and oh, how sweet words can take you to new heights. Unfortunately, nobody has invented a vibrator that whispers compliments yet – a terrifying idea now that we think about it – but the options below are a great substitute. Really, they’ll say whatever you want them to say.
These Truth or Dare cards will build the sexual tension with saucy prompts and opportunities for your partner to affirm what they find hot about you.
Words of Affirmation: Silicone Breathable Ball Gag
With a ball gag tucked snuggly in your mouth, it’s on your partner to do the talking. Add this accessory to the mix for mmpph while your S.O. showers you with dirty talk.
Words of Affirmation: Voice Activated 10X Vibrating Egg with Remote Control
This sound-sensitive vibrator will buzz to your voice, your partner’s voice, music — really any sound — and get you squirming. With 10 patterns of vibration, it puts a new spin on words of affirmation.
Acts of Service: Womanizer Starlet USB Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
You swoon for people who ease the burden of responsibility, and thus you love a toy that does the work while you relax. Allow us to introduce a few favorites that say “Let me do that for you…
This petite but powerful vibrator delivers a soft, pressurized suction and pulsation to the clit. Just lie back, and let the Starlet flutter you with good vibes.
Acts of Service: DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist Cuffs
It’s time to get tied up. When you’re gently restrained, your partner has to take care of you. Wrist cuffs are an ideal approach to let your S.O. go above and beyond the call of duty.
Acts of Service: Eva II Hands-Free Vibrator
Dame Eva II ’s flexible wings tuck into your labia for hands-free stimulation. It works during penetrative sex or solo sex, but either way, there’s no effort required on your part.
Gift Giving: Lap of Luxury Set
Sex is a space to let the “treat yourself” mentality shine. Picking a toy that’s meaningful and tailored to your intimate interests will resonate strongly. And, if you were looking for an excuse to splurge on something special, now is the time.
The Unbound Lap of Luxury set, comprised of the finer things in life, has everything you need to enjoy yourself. With a wand, lube, gag bar and tether restraint, there are so many moments for your partner to dote on you.
Gift Giving: Bondage Boutique Deluxe Fetish Sex Swing
Samantha Jones is shaking. This sex swing is the gift that keeps on giving, letting you experiment with the most impossible sex positions with ease.
Gift Giving: Lovehoney Oh! Foreplay Dice
You love being showered with gifts — or maybe you prefer to be the one showering. What better way to give each other some love than by rolling erotic foreplay dice? With a little prompting, you’ve got endless ways to kindle the fire.
Quality Time: Lovense Lush 3 App Controlled Rechargeable Love Egg Vibrator
The key word here is quality. Sex is about having an experience and making sure your time is thoroughly well-spent with toys that trancend.
Instead of sitting at opposite ends of the couch staring at your phone, you can sit at opposite ends of the couch and use your phone for ecstasy-inducing wireless vibrator play. Give your partner the power to control Lovense Lush for a heated bonding moment.
Quality Time: Crescendo Vibrator
This bendable vibrator fits a variety of bodies and needs. Bend the shape of Crescendo to hit both your pleasure points and spend some quality time in bed together.
Quality Time: Magic Wand Massager
The cult-favorite Magic Wand is a gift you’ll have forever, and this must-have classic comes in handy during every sexy scenario. Get ready to make some memories.
Physical Touch: Liberator Sex Position Wedge
Physical touch very obviously connects to sex, and in the bedroom this love language is all about sensations. Folks with the physical touch language can probably handle intermediate-to-experienced toys, especially ones that establish multiple points of contact.
Welcome to the deep penetration fan club, we’re happy to have you. This sex wedge offers a 27-degree angle of elevation for more precise contact with the clit and a wider range of motion for the ultimate closeness.
Physical Touch: Burn Massage Candle
For a new sensation, introduce a massage candle that lets your partner put their hands all over you. The warm, hydrating oil doubles as a self-care moment.
(FYI: Our Health Editor has this candle and totally loves it!)
Physical Touch: They-ology Wearable Anal Training Set
This set comes with five training plugs to safely and comfortably increase pleasure and let that butt have some fun. Yep, you’ll definitely want to have lube on hand.
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