When you hear the word prenup, you might automatically think of celebrities or wealthy couples. And it’s true that those are the people who usually make the news for their prenuptial agreements — like the “airtight” prenup Britney Spears and Sam Asghari signed before their 2022 wedding, or Kelly Clarkson’s prenup-related legal mess after her divorce from Brandon Blackstock. If you ask Khloé Kardashian, everyone should have a prenup, “You have to protect yourself. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them,” she told E! News back in 2011 … before her divorce from Lamar Odom.
Not everyone is taking Kardashian’s advice, though. According to a 2023 survey by Axios, only 1 in 5 married couples in the US have a prenup, although 50 percent of the adults they surveyed said they at least somewhat supported them. And while, technically, you can ask for just about anything in a prenup (Kardashian’s prenup reportedly entitled her to a new car whenever her lease was up and courtside Lakers tickets for her whole family), your partner doesn’t necessarily have to agree to your suggestions, especially if they’re… unhinged. That’s where one couple on Reddit is running into some trouble, and trust us, “unhinged” is putting it lightly in this case.
The partner who’s writing the post (aka our OP, or original poster) is taking major issue with one clause their boyfriend wants to put in their prenup, and Reddit is up in arms over it too. Keep reading for the full story and Reddit’s furious response.
Fear of a Dead Bedroom
OP explains that before their relationship, their boyfriend had been in a “terrible marriage that ended in a dead bedroom” (aka no sex). “He’s determined to never go back to that life again,” says OP, who adds that they can understand the feeling. “I think that sucked for him to experience.”
A Shocking Request
However, OP’s sympathy only goes so far. Now their boyfriend wants a prenup and wants to include a specific clause stipulating “that we will have sex x amount of times a week, or else I get absolutely nothing in the divorce.” Yeah, our jaws dropped too.
“I Can’t Prove the Future”
OP says they’d already agreed to a 50-50 prenup in terms of splitting up marital assets, and agreed that they each keep whatever they came into the marriage with. “Now that’s not enough for him,” OP writes. “He wants me to ‘prove’ that I won’t stop having sex with him in the future. I tell him I can’t prove the future, and putting something in writing doesn’t prove that.”
Guilt Trip
Now OP’s boyfriend is saying OP “must have a guilty conscience if I won’t sign these terms, because if I’m so certain it won’t happen, then what’s the problem?” Sounds like emotional manipulation to us. “To me,” OP writes, “it makes me feel like a sex slave and not a loved wife or partner.”
In the comments (which we’ll get to in a second), OP also provided some additional context, saying that their boyfriend doesn’t have a lawyer yet, but he said when they do sign the agreement, “he wants a psychiatrist present to witness that I’m not being coerced and can’t claim it later.” (Red flag!!) OP adds that the request “came out of nowhere” the night before they posted. “I was just at work and asked him if everything was okay because he’s been feeling distant lately… and then just got avalanched with all this.”
Reddit’s Response
OP shared their experience to Reddit’s Am I the Asshole? forum to figure out who’s in the wrong. “I honestly can’t believe I’m asking this, but my boyfriend has gotten so mad that I’m feeling a little crazy now,” they write.
Reddit was thrown for a loop, too — and disgusted.
“I would think any legal professional would tell him that such a stipulation is unprovable and in fact undermines the entire prenup,” wrote one commenter in disbelief.
Another person pointed out that requiring sex ahead of time removes even the possibility of consent. “You cannot consent to sex weeks, months, years in advance. Not that you can’t try to, I mean it is literally impossible for you or anyone to do so,” they said. “What he is trying to do is put you in a situation where he will coerce you into sex for the rest of your life, whether you want it or not.”
A fellow Redditor agreed, putting it bluntly: “He’s trying to coerce you into obligating yourself to have sex with him? Like, does he want to look like a rapist in a legal document?” they wrote. “Because if the threat is sex or marriage dissolution, your ability to consent is ripped away.” They told OP not to “mess with this guy any further,” explaining, “This is a red flag waving a red flag. If you’re physically not up to [sex], sick, or recovering from surgery, what then?”
“This is creepy AF,” another person agreed. One commenter simply asked, “And you still want to marry him? Good luck with that. Prenup aside this man is a walking red flag.” OP could agree with that. “Not under these circumstances,” they replied. “In fact, I told him I’m not his punching bag and I’m done if this is his hill to die on.”
Sounds like OP, at least, understands how messed up this “requirement” is and that they can’t marry someone who would want to force them to have sex. A red flag is the sign telling you to get out now, and we hope OP listens!
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