Think you know what obsessive compulsive disorder is? It’s common to hear the phrase “I’m so OCD” thrown around, but for those who live with the illness, the compulsions and obsessions are nothing to joke about.
The Secret Illness, a transmedia creative arts project that explores the reality of life with OCD, hopes to change the public perception of the disorder with “The Wall,” an online series of brutally honest confessions.
Co-founder Liz Smith, who curates The Wall’s mosaic-style online page, said: “When we launched we had no idea if people would feel brave enough to post their stories on The Wall, but it quickly gained its own momentum and now the wall posts are coming in thick and fast.”
Smith has been amazed by the “incredible” response, which she hopes will help raise awareness of the reality of living with OCD.
“Many people out there have been suffering in secret, and it’s really wonderful to be playing a part in creating a community platform where we can explore what OCD really is so creatively and honestly,” she said.
Mayo Clinic defines OCD as “characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions)” and notes that it is “possible to have only obsessions or only compulsions and still have OCD.”
Visit the International OCD Foundation for more information, help and advice.
Laura, 57, Idaho
“How do I know for sure that I won’t kill someone on purpose?”
Stephanie, 33, Ontario
“I get stuck in a never-ending mental analysis of why ‘this is something to worry about’ and why ‘this is not something to worry about.'”
Charlotte, 20, Wales
“I have to walk on the side of the pavement that’s closest to the traffic so there’s no possible way I can push anyone into the road.”
David, 44, Birmingham, U.K.
“A devil who never sleeps pulls pins out of grenades in my mind. It’s my job to put them back in before it’s too late.”
Lydia, 25, Shanghai, China
“For me, OCD changes ‘costume’ every day.”
Victoria, 20, London, U.K.
“If I have a bad thought I have to go to the loo in order to de-contaminate myself.”
Alison, 36, Minnesota
“What if I touch someone inappropriately, even by accident? I can’t be trusted.”
Charlotte, 26, Coventry, U.K.
“If I hold a knife I fear that I will stab someone I love.”
Adam, 19, Blackpool, U.K.
“My showers might as well have been sponsored by Volvic.”
Laura, 32, Washington, D.C.
“If I don’t check and re-check the stove top, the house will burn down.”
Helen, 30, Heidelberg, Germany
“I used to take my hair straighteners to work so that I could always check they were off.”
Gwen, 32, Dodge City, Kansas
“I am scared of my husband touching me because it doesn’t feel right.”
Gemma, 30, Manchester, U.K.
“If I breathe in too deeply when I walk past a bin, I will inhale germs and my body will become contaminated.”
Jaslyn, 17
“The graphic thoughts of my mother dying and constant worrying about anaphylaxis wasted my youth and left me hopeless.”
Anonymous, 24, Minnesota
“I was pregnant. I was sure of it. Even though there was no possible way I could be pregnant.”
Anonymous, 27, Yorkshire, U.K.
“I feel compelled to have objects a certain way or angle because of a thought which haunts me: that I love one of my children more than the other if I don’t.”
Abby, 38 California
“I imagine car crashes so that car crashes won’t happen.”
Lily, 17, Hertfordshire, U.K.
“I must obey otherwise the devil will punish me.”
Anonymous, 32, London, U.K.
“Don’t tell anyone what goes through your mind in case they lock you away.”
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