This week in ridiculous things we found on the internet, we present to you drone porn. Oh, yes, it’s a thing. And when you plug it into Google, well, you’ll learn some hysterical (slash disturbing) things.
1. Drone porn is… well… um…
GIF credit: Giphy.com
At first glance this might seem like a lovely ode to idyllic landscapes and pastoral scenery. But wait! Did I just see a blur of butt cheek? Welcome to the world of drone boning. As in, uh, boning. Immortalized in video by droids.
2. Male honey bees are also called drones, and apparently, we need their sperm
Fun fact: Among the wildly disturbing results you’ll have to sift through when you search “drone porn,” you will find a video simply titled “Drone sperm collecting.” Since we can’t go back in time and unsee this cinematic marvel, it only seems fair that we share this visual with you.
GIF credit: GIFSoup.com
Don’t worry — no bees were harmed in the making of this video. We’re virtually certain this little fellow is actually chilling in a hive somewhere smoking a cigarette.
3. Drones can’t catch you having sex if they can’t see you
www.youtube.com/embed/0R9Azmom-T0
Perhaps that was precisely the thought process NY-based designer Adam Harvey was experiencing when he decided to create “Stealth Wear” — his own shiny, thermal-signature-hiding line of anti-drone clothing.
No word yet on whether the $2,200 stealth ponchos come with makeup to make you look like the unspeakably creepy kid from The Ring or if that costs extra.
4. There is a band called Drone Boyz that you’ve never heard of
GIF credit: Giphy.com
This isn’t drone porn, or bee porn, for that matter. But it is a music video shot in spectacular home fashion for the rap group Drone Boyz. The song is “2 The A.M,” which, aside from being grammatically questionable, apparently indicates the bewitchingtwerking hour is upon us, er, them.
5. Rabbits don’t have a reputation for nothin’
GIF credit: Giphy.com
Why does a bunny humping a balloon pop up (teehee) when you search “drone porn”? Why indeed, my friends. Still, you’ve got to give it to the little guy — he sure does give it his all. And suddenly we’re feeling strange about the Disney bunny from Bambi being named Thumper.
6. Everyone has missed the true meaning of drone porn
www.youtube.com/embed/MstDY0chO4k
Well, if you ask women, that is. While men may prefer their drones attached to a lingerie model’s head, we prefer ours delivering home goods and fashion deals to our door by way of the future — aka Amazon’s “be there in half an hour” delivery drones. The only fail here is that this program has yet to lift off. Plus, they say they won’t deliver table saws. Where’s the fun in that?
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