He knows his size in women’s jeans.
Stripper obsessed
He has an open tab at the strip club.
Bad hygiene
You’ve never seen him wash his sheets. Or his hair.
Fart humor
The closest he will ever come to cooking is giving you a Dutch oven.
Bad fashion
He wears Ed Hardy or Affliction (sometimes both at once).
Cheapskate
He “forgets” his wallet at least once a week.
Packin’ on pounds
He recently gained 200+ pounds.
Mom attraction
You’ve caught him making out with your mom.
Shirtless poser
His Facebook profile photo is one he took himself, shirtless in the bathroom mirror.
Cheesy idol
His idol is The Situation from Jersey Shore.
STDs
He has a collection of STDs.
Jailbird
He recently got out of jail for tagging a billboard.
Toenail biter
He chews on his toenails.
WOW obsessed
His schedule revolves around his World of Warcraft raids.
Too close to mom
The relationship he has with his mom gives you the willies.
Knitter
He knits sweaters for his cats.
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